The Lady Has Left the Building

After a very positive life coaching consultation I picked up my Getting Business to Come to Me book that I threw down a few months ago. I freaked out because it discouraged doing a business that was more than ONE thing. Since Namaste Gourmet is yoga AND officiating AND coaching, I stopped reading. I did decide to let go of personal cheffing, but I could not pare down anymore than that.

So, as I made the move back to NY I am trying all avenues. And in all actuality I've tried all avenues for most of my life. I am thankful for the journey and truly think that the twists and turns have led me to exactly where I'm supposed to be.

I wish I kept reading the Getting Business to Come to Me book months ago, since I think I would be further along. While the authors stress focus, as I read further in the chapter they also encourage umbrella businesses that make sense. So, while I can act, do arts administration, teach and a dozen of other things, I am confusing my potential clients. When people think of me they probably think ALL of the things I do and I need to be clear. Who am I and can I be taken seriously?

So, in a flash, I decided to work on NG solely and let go of all of the arts stuff. I announced it on Facebook this morning and got a bit of support. I will certainly satisfy my creative side and my performative qualities (through yoga and officiating) and I will do what I do best - helping and inspiring others.

Once I made the announcement I proceeded to hit my eye on the corner of my table as I reached down to turn on my power strip. I also had delivery issues with both the pet supply store and the wine store. I spent hours in my apartment waiting for things that never came. I hope these are not warning signs, because I am not afraid - black eye or no.

I was thinking of giving up this blog when my apartment was fully settled and decorated, but it feels right to do it now. So, no more bitching and complaining. No more uncertainty and wishing things to happen. No more questioning the best path.

I have chosen.

Or perhaps it has chosen me.

Over lunch last week my friend Wesley encouraged me to write my stories down especially if I let the blog go. I'm sure I will, but it may not be a public forum.

So, this here lady is back in the East where she belongs. How 'bout some gratitudes before a little over and out?

1. a forum to document the journey and a few people that followed along

2. support from some friends and family

3. great resources

4. the ability to be flexible and endure - like a true survivor

5. the strength to know what I want and to go out and get it

Two drinks in, gratitudes!

I had a really light day today. I finished my Carl Hiassen book and waited for my case from the Chelsea Wine Market. When it didn't come as expected (just like last month) I called and rescheduled. I then headed over to Jossie's who was in the process of making a cake for David Grenke's surprise birthday party. I helped her color the fondant and decorate some cupcakes. She was freaking out, but I did my best to stay on task and get it done. She was attending the party and I was not dressed for it, so I headed home. I watched the latest episode of House and made myself a yummy gin and tonic. I then made a dinner of ravioli, leftover steak and butter lettuce with half an avocado. Since I had a bottle of red opened I poured myself a glass.

Since I was a little tipsy and bored I called a number of friends - Jennifer Denning, Michael Gaffney, Angela Aquino, Suehyla El-Attar. I spoke to two of the four.

Since I could not get to the library and finished my book this morning, I had little to do. So, here I sit at the McDonald's downloading The Mentalist and checking my email.

Email was on the light side, but the show downloaded, so I will head home. Tomorrow I head back to Jackson Heights to work on the Guggenheim stillspotting project. I do need to head to The Whitney to grab my water bottle. Here's hoping it's there after leaving it in the loading dock last night. I feel things are just kind of status quo. I hope for a little bump in the next week or so.

In the meantime, there are things I am grateful for:
1. warm weather
2. thunderstorms ( I cannot remember the last time I saw lightening and heard thunder)
3. catering leftovers
4. friends who answer their phones
5. a cookbook about to be published

Something's Got to Budge!

I have internet access for a moment, so I thought I should quickly blog before I go to bed. Lots of crappy stuff and a little bit in the option department make for a bit of progress. Or at least a shimmer of optimism.

I started the bright and sunny day heading down to the Herald Square area for an interview at another temp job. I filled out all of the paperwork and it seems like there is some work to be had. But the recruiter was afraid that my resume would scare people away. According to my resume I have not done strictly Admin work in over 10 years - not since Coke. So, she encouraged me to "dumb" down my resume and make sure to add the temp work from the East Bay that I did in 2009/10, as well as the personal assisting work I did in 2010/11. I am getting more catering bookings from the 2 companies I work with, but I really need more. And in fact tonight, I worked another of those parties where I felt like "the help." The Hamptons set that were above it all and just felt privileged. For a moment I wished I was a guest at the party, but then I thought "why would I want to be friends with these people?"

In any case, I have not looked at my balance statement from March and April, but I am pretty sure that my expenses outweighed my income - especially due to the move.

Speaking of which, I found out today that my sofa will not be delivered for at least another month, the moving company is offering a measly $50 in settlement for my damaged armoire and my Oakland landlord never got my letter requesting the monies taken out for painting from my security deposit.

I am also still owed money from 3 other sources.

Maria and I talked about this last night since she is waiting on settlement money from her old dentist.

WHY IS THIS ALL SO STINKIN' HARD?

I am doing more work with Spoons Over America and hope to work with more event planners in the area. I know that something is bound to budge soon.

How 'bout some gratitude?
1. sunny days
2. the library (and movie rentals)
3. internet at McDonald's and right now at my apartment
4. a nice big kitchen
5. wine

Saturday Gratitudes

Greetings from LI. I came out yesterday to watch David while my brother and sister-in-law went to a wedding. I had fun with my nephew playing in a fort, watching Scooby Doo and walking around the block. Right now it's quiet while he and his mom nap. I just finished reading The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest and am excited to start reading Sara's Key when I get back into the city.

A few things to be thankful for:
1. a great meeting with an event planner that may lead to Namaste Gourmet work
2. a good yoga class yesterday and talk of an audition to sub at the studio
3. great wine
4. hearing "I love you" from my nephew
5. 3 catering jobs this week

Transition - A Photo Journal

The lack of internet at home has caused me to truly pick and choose what I spend my time on. That and working the Yoga Journal Conference for the past 4 days, updating the blog has not been much of a priority. I said I would post photos of my new place, so here you go! These were taken on April 11th.

The view from my entrance way into the main room. You can see a hint of the threshold that leads to the bathroom and kitchen at the left edge. Those were the last of the boxes. And yes, they are my last to unpack. 

 The air mattress I slept on the for the first month. The chair enabled Lincoln to climb up onto the window sill.

 And the delivery of the new furniture. I moved the tall IKEA bookcase further to the left along the same wall. Isn't it pretty. There are 4 drawers in the bed platform that certainly assist with storage.

Maxie already found a good place to hang out!

The bookcase in it's final place. The floor is also pretty even here, so it no longer looks like a leaning tower!

More unpacking and organizing.

but I've started to hang art!

The bathroom and the "hallway" that leads to the kitchen.

No news is no news

Access to a free wifi connection has not returned to my apartment, so it's been more difficult to post on a regular basis. I promise to upload some photos tomorrow, but I have not been hugely motivated.

I am having a down day since I did not get the restaurant job I interviewed for on Friday and I don't have any paid work coming my way until NEXT WEDNESDAY. I did have a good few days with my first Seder night at my house and then playing with my lovable nephew on Saturday and Sunday.

I tried to watch one of my library movies last night and after repeated attempts the disc got caught in my computer and didn't come out. My big excitement today was finally getting out of bed (where I could easily have read The Girl Who Played With Fire all day) and heading down to the Apple Store on Broadway and 67th. Luckily the replacement of my optical drive was covered under Apple Care so I just had to wait about 45 minutes for them to fix it.

I was able to check my email and start downloading some TV shows at the library today and continued my online adventures at the Apple Store and now at the local McDonald's. Nothing else to report so I will just head home and continue my reading and try and stay optimistic.

Photo Delinquent!

I've taken a bunch of photos, but the Internet is spotty at my apartment and I have yet to upload and post. Of course, I have a strong connection now, but am too tired to get out of bed and grab my camera. Sorry.

I worked another Cleaver event on Monday and this evening did my first for USE. It was a big dud. A party with wine and water and some fried plantains for the bar. That's it. My job was to replenish the bar snacks and bus. As is typical, the crowd did not move so it was difficult to maneuver around them.

How 'bout a little gratitude?
1. sunny days
2. catering leftovers
3. an extra bottle of white
4. the return of WIFI in my apartment
5. a super comfy mattress!

Late Night/Early Morning

Worked my first Cleaver gig tonight and it didn't suck and neither did I. Actually, it was great and a fairly easy ride. No unloading of the van. The cool thing is that they were able to drive it into the building and up to the 15th floor to unload it. I also didn't have to help break everything down at the end of the night and load the van. Once the party was done, we already packed up the kitchen and I LEFT with the rest of the kitchen ladies.

The view out the window of our make shift kitchen was pretty great. We were all the way over on the westside, so views of NJ and the Hudson. And construction down by the World Trade Center. It did remind me of views of the Bay Bridge from some of the parties I catered with Hugh.

I was a little nervous going in tonight and I did feel a bit apprehensive in places. I worked with veterans, so they were kind and showed me the ropes. I just need to feel more assured of my work and not worried so much about proving myself. I am totally skilled and capable. And I luckily left with lots of leftovers - which comes in handy because food is STINKIN' EXPENSIVE IN THIS CITY.

Kim offered rides to us which was very generous. She dropped me at 42nd and 7th. I think she took Dianna to the train and Valere all the way up to 125th but closer to the east side. The 1 was crowded, but luckily I got a seat when folks transferred to the Express.

Some gratitudes before slumber:
1. nice co-workers
2. strong coffee
3. connecting with more Atlanta folks
4. catering leftovers
5. possibilities

Working Girl!

Let the river run, baby!

While I did do a bit of work as part of Agriculture Literacy Week, my true first job starts tomorrow. I am working culinary for The Cleaver Co. and hoping that I can handle the demands. Jossie lent me her knife roll and Dianna has a jacket for me to borrow. My clogs are too big so I have to exchange them, so I hope that my feet will hold up in my black Doc Maarten's. Yesterday I was hired to do front of house work with Union Square Hospitality's catering arm. I am back working on Souper Jenny's cookbook, so I think I will be able to pay rent for April on income and not savings.

Which is a great thing.

I have 2 potential musicians for my cabaret, but no takers on Funny Bone. I did see Sara Zimmerman's show on Monday night and I love Dixon Place where she performed. It's a perfect intimate venue.

I am still looking for more full time work, but so far nothing that's even worth applying. I will be doing my Work Exchange shifts for the Yoga Journal conference in a few weeks, so I cannot accept full time work anyway. I am looking forward to working with the conference, but hope I get a chance to actually take some classes. I think it's weird that we have to pay $100 to do it, so hopefully I am not too tired and overworked to actually enjoy the programming.

Things for which I'm grateful:
1. access to high speed internet
2. the sunshine
3. food in the fridge and the ability to cook it
4. taking my first yoga class where I was the only student
5. snuggly kitties

Lazy Saturday

It's 6:44pm and I am still in my pajamas. I don't think that will change for the rest of the day. It's still light out which is a welcome part of the season. I have been in bed most of the day reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and jumping on the computer to check email and the like.

The air mattress is not the best for my body and my neck and back both are not happy with me, but just lounging and napping for most of the day has been great. Looking around the apartment I do feel the same sense of home that I did in Oakland. I just now can't wait for my furniture so I can finish organizing and start finding a resting place for the last bit of stuff.

On the more positive front, I did finally move the backpack in the center of the floor and there was no dead animal or insect underneath. And I ate really well today.

Veggies and eggs on a leftover brioche
Panfried tilapia and a romaine salad
Sauteed garlic kale with some leftover fries

The kitties are calmly resting and I will get back into bed and read some more. Tomorrow I plan to do a walking tour of the city. I know it's touristy, but it will get me back familiar with the city and heck, they're free. I am also toying with joining the Fourth Street Co-op. I may head down there tomorrow to see if it's worth it.

I will also not go to sleep tonight without having a sparkly clean kitchen sink. I would love to say that I will keep that up, but I can certainly try.

Gratitudes:
1. moving forward on the networking front
2. Souper Jenny's cookbook closer to completion
3. having time and savings to chill out all day
4. an unlimited MetroCard
5. relative quiet in the neighborhood today

Fear of the Unknown

I got home from drinks with Julia and her friends and poured myself a glass of wine and got into bed to watch Revolutionary Road. I knew it would be a depressing film and I am in a weird state currently. I guess just sad. I am laying here with the lights out in the relative quiet as I hear Maxie stalk something.

When the movie finished I got up and turned on the light in a moment of courage. However, I was not brave enough to lift my backpack that Maxie had his paw under. And now I am just too wimpy to do anything. I originally thought it was a mouse, but I think it may be a large bug.

When my old friend Katy came to town last week we went to see the final preview of Once on Broadway. She went to Emory with one of the cast members a few years after me, but had yet to tell him that she was in the audience. At the end of Act 1 we saw them setting up drinks on the bar of the set on stage and I looked at Katy and said "Let's go!" She questioned our ability of getting up there, but I did not. We walked up to the stage and apparently they put a limit on the number of people up there. So, we walked up to one of the ushers who said that the best way to let a cast member know that we were in the audience was to speak to the stage manager - who just happened to be ON THE STAGE. So, we marched back down and I told the monitor that we needed to speak with the stage manager. Without any hesitation, he said to go on up. I walked up to her and told her that we knew someone in the cast and then Katy took over. After our brief exchange we walked away, and Katy got hit with the fact that she was standing on a Broadway stage. It didn't give me the same sensation. But I thought about it and I think it may have been my first time, too. We then saw Vanessa Williams, also on stage. She looked tiny.

I think it may have been pre-show at dinner that Katy mentioned that she always remembers me as someone who has balls. There was a sense of excitement there. It could have been the wine, but it was certainly more than that. I told her that I thought I lost that quality year ago. But the memory of it brought it back and I acted with such assurance during intermission.

It's funny to me that I lay here now, in the dark afraid of the unknown. Be it a bug or a mouse. Or perhaps a kitty toy. I am sure I am affected by the movie and its theme of being unhappy in the life you're in and wishing for more. Maxie has since moved to the window for a nap and the salsa music has started blaring outside.

I'll take it as a sign to go to sleep and perhaps in the morning I will be less sad.

Tuesday Quickie!

My internet connection was so strong last night that the final episode of The Walking Dead fully downloaded by the time I was done with the blog post.

yes, that fast.

So, of course I watched it.

Lots of gore, lots of twists and turns and introduction of something bigger. I woke up a little more tired and not fully rested than I'd hoped.

Today I went down to Chelsea Market to interview with one catering company, then to Chinatown to get reflexology, have some dumplings and lead 2 workshops and then up to Union Square to interview for yet another restaurant group. So, yes when I got home I ate some Chinese food leftovers - an augmented fried rice - and then crashed.

So, no yoga again.

I had a quick conversation with Suehyla and then my parents, did some more work on the cookbook and then poured a glass of wine while watching Ken Burns' Prohibition. I was a little distracted and did not watch fully. I kept checking email and directions. I don't think I learned as much or truly took in all of the information I could. I will certainly view the second 2 DVDs with more attention. Once I renew them from the library.

I should already be sleeping - like the cat on my leg - but first a few gratitudes:
1. cheap and decent food
2. kind interviewers
3. gorgeous weather
4. great public transportation
5. working out my muscles (which take a beating on the air mattress/and from a stressful move)

Quick Monday Gratitudes

I led 3 workshops for Agriculture Literacy Week today, picked up the replacement check for the bounced one, grabbed some Chinese food, did a bit of work and had a good Skype conversation with Souper Jenny about the cookbook at the Hamilton Grange Library. Once I got home I put on my yoga clothes, but completely crashed. When I woke I missed yoga, cooked some dinner, did a bit of notes and feedback on the cookbook and they got into bed to watch 2 episodes of The Walking Dead. I have a great internet connection, so I'm downloading the season finale and I will watch it tomorrow.

A good day.

Here's what I'm thankful for:
1. Express trains
2. Smart & welcoming students
3. Fresh veggies
4. A gorgeous day
5. being back on the cookbook

Passion and Violence

I have been laying low lately. My dance card is largely empty so I have been getting enough sleep, failing to decide where I want my bookcase and heading to the library to use the internet and check out movies. I made a good bit of headway at the library yesterday. Ordering a copy of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo to be delivered to my branch and sitting for a few hours up in the kid's section where I ordered business cards, downloaded some more of The Walking Dead and caught up on my Words with Friends on Facebook.

I got home and checked my mail and that's when the shit hit the fan. The deposit check that I got back from the first realtor, you know the one that lost that first apartment, IT BOUNCED. 

BOUNCED.

As in insufficient funds. Not only was I out the $750, but also a bank charge for the returned check. I was pissed. I called my parents and then the round of phone calls started. Leaving a stern message on the realty phone, calling the last agent I worked with and then calling the issuing bank. It seemed like there was money in the account and there has been recent activity. The banker could not tell me much, but it sounded like I could redeposit the check and then I would just have to get the bank fee. So, I took the 1 up to W181 and waited in a huge line at the CitiBank only to find out that I could not cash the check. The teller could only tell me so much, but basically she said that something was up with the account and since it was not verified she could not give me the money. She also said that if I tried to re-cash the check it would not go through.

SHIT.

I had plans for the evening, so I need to let this go, hoping that I would be able to get answers in the morning. 

I met Jossie on the platform at W145 and we went downtown to meet her friend Liane. Some brief shopping/browsing and then off to Little Italy for dinner. It didn't wow me, but it was good. Some ceasar salad, pesto gnocchi and a glass of Montepuliciano. We stopped at a little bakery on Mulberry for a Sfigotell and then uptown to see Traci at The National Comedy Theatre.

When we entered the N train there was a guy with a big sign holding a bucket for donations. He ranted about not patronizing Bank of America and Turbo Tax due to their bad business practices and alluded to the raping of young children in India. I was the only person standing since there was not much room to sit with Jossie and Liane on the bench. The raving man yelled that I was blocking his sign and asked that I move over. I did once, but he yelled at me again and then the fun started. I said that I was standing on the subway. And I was not in the middle of the car, I was over the side. He started yelling that I was obstructing justice and it quickly escalated to him calling me a Fucking Cunt.

Yeah, fun.

After about 45 seconds of him now ranting at me, I had enough. The rage from getting screwed over the the realtor TWICE rose through my body and up to my face and I matched his ranting. 

NO, FUCK YOU!

It was a heated mess and the rest of the train car looked on in amazement. He accused me of purposefully coming after him and I put up my hands up in my best Scooby Doo monster impersonation and did my best Hoogalie Boogalie voice. This guy at the end of the train, just bust out laughing. There was a mix of laughter and just people staring in horror. The ranting man was not amused and said that I need to be careful. While he would not do anything, if I crossed the wrong person I would get a bullet in the head. Apparently there was also an Indian man at the other end of the car on the verge of tears. By this time Mr. Raver was calling me a Hindu loving rapist and Jossie said this clearly affected this man.

We switched cars at 34th Street and exited at 42nd where we saw the ranting guy leave the train and head back down to the Downtown platform. That's when Liane called 311 to report it.

The show was fun and we got home safely and I was happy to check my email and see a message from the realtor apologizing for the returned check and trying to schedule when I can pick up a re-issued one. I told him I would come by on Monday. Fingers crossed that he's true to his word.

The last bit of violence happened just a bit ago. It sounded like a child was having a temper tantrum and stomping on the floor. Then I hear whimpering and a high pitched scream and I started getting worried. I just imaged some domestic abuse. A door opened and it sounded like a man did not want a woman to leave the apartment. Once I heard steps I quietly left my apartment, saw blood on the hallway floor and on the stairs and found a crying boy of about 12 years old with a bloody mouth holding on to the wall upstairs. I certainly did not want to get in the middle of anything and endanger myself. I quickly asked him if he was okay. All he was able to say was that it was his brother. I asked how I could help him, but I feared that the brother was close by. The boy was catching his breath and I slid back into my apartment. Luckily, I heard the police come about 10 minutes later. No screaming, no sounds of violence, so I hope all is well.

Maxie is, of course, back under the covers and after all of the violence and acts of passion that's kind of where I want to be, as well.

Down for the Count

My boxes were delivered today and while it was a pretty painless process, I still wound up losing almost a full box of kitchen ceramics and glasses, and have a gash in the dresser that I intended to sell. My parents were awesome and came in this morning to help me put most my belongings away.

They left around noon and I started watching 'The Walking Dead' episodes that I downloaded yesterday. And then I crashed. I hoped to make it to yoga, but that's not happening. I will probably spend the rest of the evening getting things where I want them and organizing my closets. The floor is nowhere close to level so I need to shim my bookcase to even things out. I also have my artwork and framed pictures that may just have to wait until my furniture arrives.

Nothing new on the job front today, but I have a great 'in' with one of the higher-end catering companies. I will move forward on that tomorrow.

I am super happy that I have not gotten sick and think that the good amount of sleep I've gotten served me well.

Here's to settling in NY, finding work and community & taking advantage of all of the arts and culture around me.

And then some things to be grateful for:
1. my parents
2. leftovers in the fridge, but I think I will have to cave and buy a small microwave
3. owning a step ladder
4. warm weather in NY
5. someone's open WIFI connection

Tuesday Night Gratitudes

I have been bitching and moaning a bit and realized there has not been much in terms of gratitude. So, here you go!

1. My parents. They are pains in the asses and protective as hell, but their hearts are in the right place. And I honestly could not have made the move without them.
2. Amazing weather
3. The movers delivering my STUFF tomorrow morning!
4. Helpful people in my neighborhood and building
5. Lots of Atlanta people living in NY

I promise there will be photos tomorrow. I took some on my mothers phone today and need to email them to myself.

Bring Me My Stuff!

I have pared down my material belongings quite a bit in preparation for this move. I had 36 boxes and bins, plus my armoire, night table and step ladder/ironing board pack. I have been getting regular emails on where my stuff was. AK, TN, PA and on Friday I got the NY confirmation. The message said that a dispatcher would call 1-2 days out to schedule delivery. I called yesterday and today and left messages. When I finally spoke with someone in the NY office, the guys sounded almost surprised about the reason for my call.

"You have my stuff, I want my stuff."
"Oh, when do you want it?"
"Um, NOW!"

Mama needs clean underwear. And some furniture to put my clothes away - until the furniture I ordered comes in 2-4 weeks.

I went out for beer and a light dinner with Traci Redmond who I knew from Atlanta. When she went to the powder room (I'm bringing the term back, by the by.) I checked my phone and there was an automated message from the delivery people who handle IKEA. Needless to say, I could not get through with them, so I am not sure when my little table and bookcase will be delivered.

My parents were set to come in early tomorrow morning to help me assemble, but they may come in later. My dad sounded a little frustrated that everything was not set to come tomorrow morning.

I spent most of today at the library looking for jobs, finishing my taxes and downloading The Walking Dead. Jossie Diel who was in undergrad when I was in grad school at UC Davis moved here on Tuesday, also. We hung at the library and grabbed some inexpensive Chinese food for lunch. She lives with Allison Minick and Laura Snell, two other UC Davis alums on W142. I have to say it's nice to have folks close by. I have a feeling that I will be seeing them a bit. And with Wesley Usher on W103, Maria on W116 and Julia on W89, I do have a small posse up here.

I look forward to organizing my stuff and opening the house to celebrate!

Mostly Quiet Saturday morn

Dominicans (or maybe Latinos in general) are loud. I heard lots of yelling on the street last night and jaunty singing from an apartment on my floor. I crashed around 9:30PM last night. Maxie was up and about and Lincoln kept going to the front door and cried. I am not sure if it's protection or if he sees ghosts. He is finally quiet this morning. However, as one of my neighbors whistled down the hallway, Maxie ran back under the covers. But in general, it's nice and quiet as I type.

I will be back on LI again tonight as we celebrate David's 3rd Birthday. I'm sure the cats will keep adjusting, just as I am.

We drove in from Long Island yesterday afternoon and I had an interview at a temp agency in Midtown. It all went well, but truth is the agency is not getting any assignments. So, my hope of landing work this week has fizzled. My parents dropped me off for the interview at 1:15PM and drove up to my apartment to unload the shopping loot and start lining my shelves. I joined them around 2:30PM. My super was supposed to come over at 4PM, but he did not show so I called him at 4:10PM and he came up about 5 minutes later. He does not speak much English so I have no idea what happened. I met one of my neighbors who said he's the worst. Doesn't get things done in time, etc. We bought window blinds that were too small, so we will get some new ones today. We also asked him to replace the toilet seat with a new one we purchased. Apparently he did not know what he was doing and basically destroyed the new one trying to install. I stayed out of it since my parents are so involved. We eventually put the old one back on and my Dad said he would take care of it.

After he left we had some wine in some coffee mugs (since my wine glasses have not arrived yet) and went out to Margot Restaurant, a Dominican place up on W159th and B'way. A little hole in the wall where everyone spoke Spanish, but the menu was in both Spanish and English. We had Garlic Shrimp, Oxtails and Fried Pork Ribs. Rice, beans and sweet plaintains. Delicioso! I am sure we will be back.

In fact, I will probably eat the leftovers now before heading down to Penn Station to catch a train out to Hicksville. A stop at IKEA, Bed Bath and Beyond, and Fairway before heading to David's birthday party. I am trying not to be sore that I was never officially invited to said party. On Thursday night as I played with David he verbally asked me to come to his party. We know invitations went out, but my brother and sister-in-law are not the best with communicating. I knew the party was at a 'bouncy house,' but didn't know where or what time. In fact, there was a birthday gathering last night with Keri's parents, but no one ever called to let my parents know. There was also a plan to have cake back at my brother's house, but even after my parents asked about it on Thursday they said they had not discussed it yet. My dad and brother had words on the phone during dinner last night and when they did eventually go over for cake, my brother was quiet. He didn't speak to my parents at all.

Ah, the joys of family! And I came back to this?

Sense of Home

While I am not settled by any stretch of the imagination, I do feel a sense of ease and comfort being back in NY. I did a bunch of shopping yesterday with my parents and while I drove home from dinner with my mother there was a feeling that I live here. That I am not visiting, but have a home here. And while I didn't grow up where my parents live now, nor am I familiar with where I currently live in Washington Heights it does not feel so foreign to me.

After a great sushi dinner with my mother last night, we stopped by my brother and sister-in-law's house to see my nephew. He turns 3 today. He is such a little bundle of energy and love. He wants to play and giggle and use the ipad. I cannot wait until it's warm enough that we can go outside and play. His birthday party tomorrow is at one of those bouncy houses. I don't know what to expect, but I know we will all have a blast.

My parents have been awesome. They are stocking me up with everything I need. Trips to Walmart, Target, and some furniture stores yesterday. Today is Petsmart, Bed Bath and Beyond before heading back into the city from Long Island so I can go on my temp agency interview.

The kitties are fairing well. Maxie has finally come out from under the covers. However, I don't believe either has pooped since we've arrived. I stayed at my parents house last night and will be back in my apartment this afternoon. While it's not the most pleasant, I will welcome a dirty, smelly litter box.

I'd Better Learn Spanish

As someone without secured income as I moved to NY, getting an apartment has been difficult. I lost the one apartment that excited me in Inwood and I felt the need to find something else. As I made the final decision to apply for the place I am currently in on W156th my agent said I really needed to find a guarantor. I had a hard time getting in touch with my sister-in-law and my agent was waiting in front of the office building of another friend who was loaning me the application fee.

I felt like I had to make a decision and the original pendulum swung to let the apartment go. My parents already offered a temporary home for me and the cats, however I really didn't want to move them twice. When I did hear from my sister-in-law everything moved ahead so fast. I was approved later that day and the following day I was getting cashiers checks and signing my life away.

The big thing is that I was not excited. Seeing how things are now, I should have let the apartment go, lived with my folks and looked for units myself once I got here. Perhaps it's that I am not familiar with the area, or perhaps it's that most people speak Spanish in these parts - and I do not. Or perhaps it's that these guys hang on the stoop right next to my apartment until the wee hours of the morning. Or perhaps I was awakened this morning by a women pounding on a door on my floor screaming, "Fucking bitch!"

I am not really sure. It's probably a bit of all of them. But I have two furry nubbins that are either hiding under the covers or walking around the apartment screaming and crying.

While I am certainly calmer than that, I want to feel safe. I hate that my dad heard that I need to stay away from certain blocks and subway stops. I want to feel comfortable in my neighborhood, but it feels that I have already been beaten.

It's a beautiful sunny day in NY and the feel is certainly different during the day than it was last night. This transition was not easy at any point. It makes me doubt the decision and want to join Maxie hiding under the covers.

I did set up the card table and folding chair by the sunny window. So, as I sit here typing using some neighbor's open WIFI I will continue to look for jobs and pray to the appropriate saints to ease this transition.