Last night I went into SF to see the 10pm performance of Joe Goode's Traveling Light at the Old Mint in SOMA. Randy got free tickets through TBA and even though I had plans to see Romeo & Juilet at LSF I decided to change plans and go into the city instead. It was a truly wonderful show that had the audience in 4 sections and moving from room to room. It reminded a bit of the middle section of Fefu where the audience travels to each of the rooms, however just like 2 characters went between rooms, most of the dancers last night performed in more than one piece. Randy and I both agreed that our order was the best. There was a nice arc and the flashiest piece from a technical standpoint was our finale. My head was spinning so it took me a bit to get to bed which made it even harder to get up this morning.
Since I was not called to rehearsal today, I decided to go to another Laughter Yoga session in Oakland. It was a smaller group and had a different energy. I liked some of the exercises, but preferred to do more laughing and less talking. The best thing is that I came up with an addition to Laughter is a River. And will now be playing with Laughter is a Geyser, as well. I planned to go to Chauncey's jazz class at The Beat afterwards, but I got caught in traffic and really just wanted to head home. I wound up being a few minutes late, but at the Ashby exit, I decided to just get off and go to class. It was a good one and I totally needed it.
As I sit on the couch, I am really quite content. I told Jerald that I would see his show tonight, but honestly, I really don't want to get up. I think I will do a bit of cleaning, watch some Harry Potter on TV and go to bed early.
While in the shower last night I decided that the cabaret I would like to do should be a retrospective of songs I've sang in cabarets past or were influences on my life. The list now includes: The Rose, I'm Not at All in Love (Pajama Game), something from Anything Goes, What Makes me Love Him, New York State of Mind, Midnight Train to Georgia, Sitting on the Dock of the Bay, Somewhere That's Green, Desperado, Hard Travelin', I Wanna Be Loved By You, Get Here, I Just Can't Wait to Be King, Miss Byrd, Taylor the Latte Boy, Valentine's Day, Branson, Annie Medley, Put Your Record On, If This Isn't Love, Old Man River and I'll Follow You into the Dark.
Gosh that's quite a list. Busy, busy busy. The creativity continue. But for now, I'll rest.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
One down...
This is the summer of 3 camps, the return of teaching at UC Davis and doing The Real Thing with Livermore Shakespeare. It's not even 11pm and I am tired. Not only that but I took a nap today. I am going to climb into bed and start this craziness up again tomorrow.
Today was the last day of the Holy Names camp for me through Cal Shakes. I was with the older group and for the most part it was truly satisfying. The kids as a whole are lazy and it just drives me crazy. However, I may have to take some of the responsibility and add things that are more engaging. Ah, I miss working with college kids.
Rehearsal today was equally satisfying. Or perhaps a little more so. Now that I am no longer struggling with lines (and didn't get a single line note) I found a whole mess of fun. It's amazing how much the unsuredness of lines really held me back. I am super excited to see how things progress and how the technical elements bring us to the next level.
In the meantime, here's a bit of gratitude:
1. employment
2. kind and genuine people
3. a clean and reliable automobile
4. leftovers
5. kitties on the couch next to me
Today was the last day of the Holy Names camp for me through Cal Shakes. I was with the older group and for the most part it was truly satisfying. The kids as a whole are lazy and it just drives me crazy. However, I may have to take some of the responsibility and add things that are more engaging. Ah, I miss working with college kids.
Rehearsal today was equally satisfying. Or perhaps a little more so. Now that I am no longer struggling with lines (and didn't get a single line note) I found a whole mess of fun. It's amazing how much the unsuredness of lines really held me back. I am super excited to see how things progress and how the technical elements bring us to the next level.
In the meantime, here's a bit of gratitude:
1. employment
2. kind and genuine people
3. a clean and reliable automobile
4. leftovers
5. kitties on the couch next to me
Friday, July 2, 2010
The Test of Time
I have been working on lines for The Real Thing pretty diligently for the past 3 days. I've had my scripts with me and I recorded my lines and put on my ipod so I could listen both in the car and in bed.
Yes, I did go to sleep two nights with them in my ears. And yes, after the first night I did have quite a few bizarre dreams. I really wish I remembered them now. But they were truly out there.
So tonight we have our first spacing rehearsal at the winery and I am curious to see how I really did. I hope that my confidence level stays high and that I have brought as much to the table as everyone else has. That's the real issue. I am working with such a strong crew I don't want to disappoint or be the weak link. I have found a good bit of new things and I really cannot wait to share them tonight. I do have to be honest and say that a few of the retorts are still questionable. I am not sure what Stoppard was trying to say. I mean some of Charlotte's lines are complete digs, but I am not sure who she is digging AT or how venomous she is. Luckily we have two weeks of rehearsal left, so I can keep playing.
Teaching has also been going well. I am teaching movement at one of the two 2-week Cal Shakes camps to ALL ages. Grade 3 - grade 12. It's fascinating to see the differences between ages and groups. Sometimes I am super successful and things stick and others the kids look bored. I know some of it's not me, but for the most part I need to figure out the best thing for each age group. Quite a learning experience for me, too. I get the older kids again today. I conquered 2 of the 3 classes yesterday, but the middle age group of the older kids just struggled. Lots of clique-y girls and low energy. That caused me to shut down and get all scattered. Not really how I like to lead a class.
I teach a Renaissance dance class on Monday and then move on to Playwriting with MTC soon. So, I need to start planning those lessons, as well.
Yay, for being busy and the subsequent paychecks!
Gratitudes:
1. paid gigs
2. nice sunny weather
3. coffee
4. carpools
5. a subletting roommate who keeps me tidy(ier!)
Yes, I did go to sleep two nights with them in my ears. And yes, after the first night I did have quite a few bizarre dreams. I really wish I remembered them now. But they were truly out there.
So tonight we have our first spacing rehearsal at the winery and I am curious to see how I really did. I hope that my confidence level stays high and that I have brought as much to the table as everyone else has. That's the real issue. I am working with such a strong crew I don't want to disappoint or be the weak link. I have found a good bit of new things and I really cannot wait to share them tonight. I do have to be honest and say that a few of the retorts are still questionable. I am not sure what Stoppard was trying to say. I mean some of Charlotte's lines are complete digs, but I am not sure who she is digging AT or how venomous she is. Luckily we have two weeks of rehearsal left, so I can keep playing.
Teaching has also been going well. I am teaching movement at one of the two 2-week Cal Shakes camps to ALL ages. Grade 3 - grade 12. It's fascinating to see the differences between ages and groups. Sometimes I am super successful and things stick and others the kids look bored. I know some of it's not me, but for the most part I need to figure out the best thing for each age group. Quite a learning experience for me, too. I get the older kids again today. I conquered 2 of the 3 classes yesterday, but the middle age group of the older kids just struggled. Lots of clique-y girls and low energy. That caused me to shut down and get all scattered. Not really how I like to lead a class.
I teach a Renaissance dance class on Monday and then move on to Playwriting with MTC soon. So, I need to start planning those lessons, as well.
Yay, for being busy and the subsequent paychecks!
Gratitudes:
1. paid gigs
2. nice sunny weather
3. coffee
4. carpools
5. a subletting roommate who keeps me tidy(ier!)
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
The Good and the Bad
When I was in Atlanta, every time I entered the second week of rehearsal for any show I was in, I hit a wall. I started questioning why I was cast and doubting my abilities. Thankfully it never appeared in grad school. However, now that I am back doing straight plays, I has reared it's ugly head.
I fail to remember what the last show was that I felt this way. Not Voices Underwater and not Women + War, I don't think. But I believe definitely on Anne Frank: Within and Without and The Sex Habits of American Women. And actually my last show - On the Town there was a smidge of it when I struggled with lines - and my scene partner.
The first week is just peachy. I come into the process with that energy of entitlement. There's a reason I was cast now I need to just do my work. However, once the play starts cracking open and all of the actors are making discoveries at different rates the confidence is shaken up a bit. In the case of my current show, The Real Thing I see some of my fellow actors taking the reigns and just running. I feel slow. Like I have not made equal strides and that I never will. I sat back on my confidence instead of using its momentum forward. It's a horrible place to be. For not only do I have to catch up, I have to jump over this horrible mental obstacle. And then there is the disappointment from my castmates - whether that be real or imagined. So, you see - obstacles.
The good news is that I recognize it and know that I have overcome these in the past. I just have to stop beating myself up about it. Secondly, these are some issues in the play itself. In fact my character, Charlotte says to her ex-husband, Henry,
You think making a commitment is it. Finish. You think it set like a concrete platform and it'll take any strain you want to put on it. You're committed. You don't have to prove anything. In fact, you can afford a neglect..."
But as we find out, you cannot. I guess this is a little issue of mine. Well, maybe it's not so little. That's the bad news. I am a bit of a 'Henry' right now. Or for a while. I seem to have lost that drive a bit. Or perhaps the skills to dig deeper. Or is the universe trying to put these blocks in front of me so I abandon performing once and for all and make a greater difference in administrations and education?
I did not feel any of this in grad school, largely because my confidence level was up. I was a big fish in a small pond. I was not challenged largely by those around me. I did not have to fight for roles in either year. I was an actor solely and I didn't have to worry about from where my next pay check was coming. That was exciting. I think I will make some tea and start to do a little digging in the script before I head to teach. Time to pick up the reigns.
I fail to remember what the last show was that I felt this way. Not Voices Underwater and not Women + War, I don't think. But I believe definitely on Anne Frank: Within and Without and The Sex Habits of American Women. And actually my last show - On the Town there was a smidge of it when I struggled with lines - and my scene partner.
The first week is just peachy. I come into the process with that energy of entitlement. There's a reason I was cast now I need to just do my work. However, once the play starts cracking open and all of the actors are making discoveries at different rates the confidence is shaken up a bit. In the case of my current show, The Real Thing I see some of my fellow actors taking the reigns and just running. I feel slow. Like I have not made equal strides and that I never will. I sat back on my confidence instead of using its momentum forward. It's a horrible place to be. For not only do I have to catch up, I have to jump over this horrible mental obstacle. And then there is the disappointment from my castmates - whether that be real or imagined. So, you see - obstacles.
The good news is that I recognize it and know that I have overcome these in the past. I just have to stop beating myself up about it. Secondly, these are some issues in the play itself. In fact my character, Charlotte says to her ex-husband, Henry,
You think making a commitment is it. Finish. You think it set like a concrete platform and it'll take any strain you want to put on it. You're committed. You don't have to prove anything. In fact, you can afford a neglect..."
But as we find out, you cannot. I guess this is a little issue of mine. Well, maybe it's not so little. That's the bad news. I am a bit of a 'Henry' right now. Or for a while. I seem to have lost that drive a bit. Or perhaps the skills to dig deeper. Or is the universe trying to put these blocks in front of me so I abandon performing once and for all and make a greater difference in administrations and education?
I did not feel any of this in grad school, largely because my confidence level was up. I was a big fish in a small pond. I was not challenged largely by those around me. I did not have to fight for roles in either year. I was an actor solely and I didn't have to worry about from where my next pay check was coming. That was exciting. I think I will make some tea and start to do a little digging in the script before I head to teach. Time to pick up the reigns.
Monday, June 28, 2010
A little magic
Even though we started rehearsals for The Real Thing last week the craziness starts in earnest today. For the next 2 weeks, I am teaching movement for one of the two Cal Shakes camps and then most days going to rehearsal afterwards. With volunteering for one of the Wild Kitchen dinners on Friday and then working a Hugh Groman shift on Saturday, I am already starting on a lower energy level. Not good.
But at least I have some money in my pocket and I ate well. And since rehearsals are going well, I am also feeding my soul.
Not bad!
It's interesting that the Wild Kitchen dinner was the thing that sticks out the most this weekend. It was totally a magical event. People coming together in a "secret" location to share wonderful, fresh food and an experience. I basically benched on my catering and serving experience, but since I was volunteering it was a bit looser. I did notice that I was one of the more driven people there. In fact the dude in charge said that he liked my focus - or direction - but anyway it was clear that most everyone was a tad more laid back. Grab a beer and a cigarette and when we're ready we'll serve the next course. It took me a while to embrace that. Primarily since that's not my way when I cater, but secondly because I didn't want to be there all night long. I mean staying in the city 'til midnight with a 10am rehearsal down in Livermore, immediately followed by a catering gig in Los Altos takes its toll. Yes, my body feels it.
But anyway, back to the magic.
When I arrived on site there were two long tables set up with butcher paper tops and some simple glass bottles with dried flowers and wild artichokes strewn about. My first task was cleaning sea beans. The head dude was making sashimi halibut and the guy next to him was cleaning more wild artichokes. I believe there was also some duck searing and frying some tempura sea beans. Oh wait, then what was I cleaning?
Here's the menu. That may shed some light.
Amuse Bouche
Wild Bay Leaf Butter on Garlic Crostini
first
Miso Marinated Black Cod with Blood Red Daikon
and Quick Fried Wild Radish Greens
2
Black Trumpet Mushroom
and Wild Radish Galette
3
A soup of Crisp Wild Onion and Local Wild Nettles
4
Local Halibut Tartare
with Tempura Fried Sea Beans
5
Black Trumpet Risotto
with Braised Cattails
and Wild Lavender Grilled Duck Breast
6
Salad of Miners Lettuce, Spring Greens, Oxalis Flowers
and Pickled Beets
with a Tart Oxalis Vinaigrette
7
Wild Artichokes and Arugula with a Fresh Aioli
last
Wild Lavender Cheesecake
with Oakland Farmstead Honey
Okay, so the veggies I cleaned were part of the salad, but they are not listed. But as I review this menu again I really don't care. Each course was more delicious than the last and the diners (as well as the folks hanging in the kitchen) all had a great time. Yes, there was a lot of alcohol and yes those who drank (and drank without excess) probably had a better time than those who didn't or had one (or three) too many.I found joy in making people feel welcome. In satisfying special requests and getting smiles (and glasses of wine) in return.
Would I have done things differently. Sure. But it's not mine to judge. On my way home with a belly full of great food, some leftovers at my side and a few dollars tip in my pocket, I seemed to learn a little more about myself.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Gray and cloudy Friday
I wasn't gonna write because I don't think there is a ton to report, but if I start typing I just may be surprised. There are certainly a number of things I could be doing - like cleaning my bedroom. But I wonder if I can keep avoiding that for another day.
Today is my last open day for a while. Monday the run of teaching starts and doesn't really stop until mid-September. I am exciting to get back to teaching more regularly and intangible as it gets, I'm ready to change some lives. There has been lots of self-reflection for a while and though there may be better work for me elsewhere there is a reason why I'm here in the Bay Area. The theatre scene and just life in general is so different that I am adding more to my experience and tool box. Whether I'll get to use any of it is questionable. That's a rather pessimistic statement. It's kind of up to me to execute my skills, ain't it?
Gosh, there's that pro-activity again.
Sigh.
It's not even 8am and I have a bit of drive right now. There's potential on the horizon, I can just feel it. I'm staying in the Bay Area to grow as an artist and truly experience this coast. I just cannot be passive about it. Tony's subletter, Jerald is a go-getter. I need to take some lessons from him. I need to let go of the things that are not serving me, figure out what makes me happy and just go for it!
Wow, this post is much more inspirational than I thought. I guess I should get out of bed, grab some coffee and jump into my day.
Boo-yeah!
Gratitudes:
1. skills
2. comforts of home
3. a summer full of projects
4. a credit card with points
5. fresh food
Today is my last open day for a while. Monday the run of teaching starts and doesn't really stop until mid-September. I am exciting to get back to teaching more regularly and intangible as it gets, I'm ready to change some lives. There has been lots of self-reflection for a while and though there may be better work for me elsewhere there is a reason why I'm here in the Bay Area. The theatre scene and just life in general is so different that I am adding more to my experience and tool box. Whether I'll get to use any of it is questionable. That's a rather pessimistic statement. It's kind of up to me to execute my skills, ain't it?
Gosh, there's that pro-activity again.
Sigh.
It's not even 8am and I have a bit of drive right now. There's potential on the horizon, I can just feel it. I'm staying in the Bay Area to grow as an artist and truly experience this coast. I just cannot be passive about it. Tony's subletter, Jerald is a go-getter. I need to take some lessons from him. I need to let go of the things that are not serving me, figure out what makes me happy and just go for it!
Wow, this post is much more inspirational than I thought. I guess I should get out of bed, grab some coffee and jump into my day.
Boo-yeah!
Gratitudes:
1. skills
2. comforts of home
3. a summer full of projects
4. a credit card with points
5. fresh food
Monday, June 21, 2010
Answers and questions
When I graduated from grad school my goal was to stay in the area to perform and teach. One of my professors suggested to go that route instead of falling back on my administrative talents. My time in the Bay area has actually been a mix of all three. It has been a struggle largely because there has been mostly administrative work and little creative work. And let's not get started on the financial rewards.
Today was solely performance and teaching. Well, rehearsal and teaching orientation. And on the way home I was happy. I would love to say that I am finally in a good place, but that may be jumping the gun a bit. I will say that on am certainly on the path to life being good.
While I had a questionable performance experience with The ChatRoulette Show last week, I had a fun time at FrontLine's benefit a week ago. And even though we just started rehearsals for The Real Thing yesterday, it feels really good. I am excited about performing again. Table work made me giddy and the people in the room are all talented and happy to be there. Better yet, my director brain was not engaged. I was thinking completely like an actor. I left rehearsal and I headed to the orientation for the first of two 2-week camps with Cal Shakes. The vibe was so positive. It was a complete community.
It made me realize that I made a good decision about my summer. While teaching at UC Davis for both summer sessions and the potential job at UC Berkeley would have paid me more money, I am so glad I decided to do the show with Livermore Shakes and piece together the camp teaching at Cal Shakes and MTC.
The only sucky thing is that gas is getting more expensive and there is going to be lots of driving.
In the meantime, there are some things I am grateful for:
1. sweet lap cats
2. an open bottle of wine
3. free coffee at the hotel where we rehearse
4. sunny skies
5. enthusiastic people
Today was solely performance and teaching. Well, rehearsal and teaching orientation. And on the way home I was happy. I would love to say that I am finally in a good place, but that may be jumping the gun a bit. I will say that on am certainly on the path to life being good.
While I had a questionable performance experience with The ChatRoulette Show last week, I had a fun time at FrontLine's benefit a week ago. And even though we just started rehearsals for The Real Thing yesterday, it feels really good. I am excited about performing again. Table work made me giddy and the people in the room are all talented and happy to be there. Better yet, my director brain was not engaged. I was thinking completely like an actor. I left rehearsal and I headed to the orientation for the first of two 2-week camps with Cal Shakes. The vibe was so positive. It was a complete community.
It made me realize that I made a good decision about my summer. While teaching at UC Davis for both summer sessions and the potential job at UC Berkeley would have paid me more money, I am so glad I decided to do the show with Livermore Shakes and piece together the camp teaching at Cal Shakes and MTC.
The only sucky thing is that gas is getting more expensive and there is going to be lots of driving.
In the meantime, there are some things I am grateful for:
1. sweet lap cats
2. an open bottle of wine
3. free coffee at the hotel where we rehearse
4. sunny skies
5. enthusiastic people
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