Revelations and introspections

I am finally settling in this crazy new life and due to all of the journaling and exercises have come to notice some things. I also think a little parental visit can shake things up.

My folks, as some of you know are some of the most critical people around me. Okay, they are the MOST critical. Which can be good and not so good. As we discussed my program over their weekend visit, they kept repeating how weak my program is. I tend to agree with them on some level. But the last time I was in school I was an undergrad. As an MFA candidate, there is much more flexibility as I move from student to collegue with my professors.

I think this is a little harder to grasp since as a mid-career collaborative artist I always thought of the peer system. That the people around me were equals and there was a good bit of give and take. The academic environment primarily puts emphasis on wrong and right, black and white. Education always flows from teacher to student and that teachers have all the answers.

I see that mostly with the class I teach. I did the Liz Lerman Dance Exchange Critical Response Process with their open scenes today it was amazing for them to give feedback to each other. They looked at me for guidance for a while until they finally got the hang of how it worked and communicated as a group -- lessening the emphasis on what I said.

I love that.

In movement we went through the 5 Rhythms -- Flow, Staccato, Chaos, Lyrical and Stillness. The exercise did not work for me. We were guided by music and instruction on the recording. How to move and quality of movement, but I could not hear the spoken instruction. So instead of letting my body guide my brain, I immediately resorted to questioning my "rightness." So, when we discussed the exercise afterwards, my undergrad and graduate brain were in conflict. I wound up just being frustrated with the idea that I thought too much about being correct in what I was doing.

After class, in my nausteated/low blood sugar state I walked towards the Silo and my CORE fitness class. I stopped midway and took a detour to the library. I decided to do what was best for my body and mind -- take a time-out and regroup in the library courtyard.

Ahhhh.