Okay, the title is not truly accurate since I am not really blue RIGHT NOW, but it has been a rather blue week. We have been doing chakra work in acting and tons of release work in Voice and Contact Improv. Needless to say, as I begin to release, something's gotta give. The molecules are realigning and there is some growth pangs. I know it's exciting and I really feel changes in my body, but the emotions that come along are not all that fun.
I did go to the dentist this morning for a check-up on my gum issue and luckily I'm stabilized. But the hygienist flossed me like a sado-masochist and my teeth hurt like a motherfucker. The woman who waxed my eyebrows right afterwards was not gentle either, but at least my brows don't hurt, too.
I guess I'm in a funky place with new classes and new teachers and new expectations. I am back to feeling that I am just not good enough and with the job market looming out there, I just know that no one will hire me. I feel like a fetus in this nice warm womb and I really don't want to come out quite yet. Call me crazy but this financial stability and ability to play all day is really kinda nice. I should probably start my job search from that place.
And then there's that crazy notion that I'll be alone for the rest of my life, but I really don't want to go there.
This weekend - and next (for that matter) is filled with parties. A big costume keg party tonight and Miss Lonely Hearts is playing at a big house party tomorrow. There's a dance concert on Sunday. Next week there's another Halloween party and the band plays again.
Best yet, is that I am finally getting my monthly massage tomorrow. I missed September and gosh, October is just about over. I scheduled a 90 minute deep tissue with a new woman that my old woman recommended. I sure hope she's good. Either way, there will be more release.
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