Trust and Inclusion

Last night we opened The Real Thing at Livermore Shakespeare and it was an amazing success. The show has been in really good shape for a while, but I have not been pulling my weight. It wasn't until just recently that I realized that the role of Charlotte is really hard. She is only in 3 scenes so there's not a huge margin of error to get my message out clearly. Once I got costumes, It was also apparent that the times I am seen are never just ordinary days. Perhaps that makes it easier. I can never sit back, but must remain engaged, in motion and proactive.

Gosh, that's a return on a theme.

The last few runs were hard since I knew I missing something, but didn't know what it was. The jokes fell flat and I just felt bitchy and not witty or in charge. I decided to return to a bit of technique and made sure I radiated out from the stage to the audience.

THE AUDIENCE.

Um, duh. You know the reason why we tell these stories in the first place? Yeah, them.

We had our first audience on Thursday preview and I was now aware of a new energy and new responsibility. To include the audience. They need to feel a part of the experience. And especially for Charlotte, I need to have them on my side. For opening last night my goal was to be the woman they love to hate. And I was. The laugh lines landed well and surprisingly enough we had to hold for laughter in places for the first time. It was exciting and electric. I had something to say - something to add to the story.

Lastly, I just needed to chill out and trust my talent and technique. I studied comedy for a full year to unlock the reasons why I seemed to fail at comedy on stage. I know it works. I know I can do it. But most of the time my brain censors and my own insecurity gets in the way. I forced myself to let that go last night as I looked out at the vineyards.. I took the stage like I was meant to be there, connected with my fellow actors, desired something from the characters in the scene and FOUGHT LIKE HELL to get it and of course, brought the audience along.

I am having a rather lazy day. I will take a shower, grab some lunch and head back to Livermore to do it all over again.