Procrastination Action

This weekend my schedule is really light. It makes it a great opportunity to get shit done. However, with my crazy schedule all I want to do is sit on the couch and eat bon bons. I am tired. And I am tired of having to be so proactive about every little thing. At this time in my life, it should just be easier.

Is that just unrealistic?

Because if I have to keep working my ass off at this speed and intensity for another year I just won't make it. And I have to say the results I am getting for this proactivity certainly does not measure up to what I am putting in. I know things take time and you need to chip away a little at a time to see the grand picture, but this is ridiculous. If you asked me 15 years ago how my life would be currently, I doubt I would ever describe my current life.

Okay, enough bitching. I really need to figure out what I want and how I can get there. This seems to be a running theme in my California life. But whatever I've created is not working.

Let's talk gratitude:
1. Sunny days in Northern California
2. Late night Taco joints in the Mission
3. Strong cocktails
4. Eye contact and compliments
5. Time to reflect (no matter how hard it is)

Back on my Couch!

Gosh, this has been a week! Teaching 8 classes up in Davis, nursing a throbbing ankle, doing a bit of commuting, and taking a kick ass dance class. I am a bit sweaty and gross but my brows are beautifully shaped and I have a shitload of work to do. But all I want to do is go to sleep. Yes, it's just after 7. But I think I may do it anyway.

Um, yeah.

Brain down, brain down.

Computer down.

*sigh*

Productivity in Pajamas

I had 3 outfits on today and two of them were pajamas. And yes, most of the day was spent on the couch. I had another fitful night sleep and truly did not want to get up. There were three dreams I remembered as I woke and they included horizontal tornados, another natural disaster that I cannot remember and a violent argument at a big box store. Can you blame me for wanting to just hide under the covers?

I made a great breakfast with hot coffee and started the living room clean up. After weeks of staring at piles of paper on "my" half of the dining room table and the entire coffee table, I FINALLY was able to polish the tables and place the clean and ironed runner back on the dining table. Along the way I also filed some papers and posted some receipts to Quicken. Truly anything to avoid choreographing the next hip hop routine.

But I am proud to say that I forced myself out of my jammies and into a tank and some shorts and whipped out a combo. I pulled 2 counts of 8 from an old dance and just watching it I see the difference in my style and quality of my students. Tomorrow in my second class I am going to try to teach the combination without speaking. Using the mirror and repetition solely. I am very curious to see how it will go - and if I will wimp out and start talking. I tried to take care of all grading this weekend, but the program on the system is completely different so I need to get some tech support.

My to-do list is pretty full and I look forward to waking up early in Davis on Tuesday and busting it out at a cafe with wi-fi. My butt hurts from sitting on the couch and watching Food Network shows for the last 4 hours. It would behoove me to head to bed right now so I can prep for breakfast with Noga and pack for 2 days in Davis.

Gratitudes:
1. Christine and Genia for gifting me a new itouch
2. Lovely weather in the East Bay
3. Fresh cooking and good leftovers
4. Clean pajamas
5. My super cool label maker

Coming Around

So my wallet is still missing and I really don't think it will resurface. I replaced my drivers license and have ordered new debit cards. I think I do need change all of my passwords just to be sure, but I am on the road to recovery. Except for the fact that I could not find my dance shoes today and as I did last week I left my power cord up in Davis again today.

I am not sure what the deal is. Except that I may be doing too much. There is too much driving and I have yet to sign my paperwork up at UCD and then my tire on my bike went flat TWICE this week. I am getting a little upset and angry as I revisit these. I guess I just need to finish my glass of wine and watch the end of the So You Think You Can Dance finale.

Here's a little gratitude to get me through:
1. a bike repair place on campus - and people who have more expertise than me
2. kind audition auditors
3. chocolate & wine
4. dedicated students
5. accompanists that transpose ON THE SPOT!

The Zen of Disappointment

So yesterday while working at The Beat I left for a moment to grab some breakfast. The cafe next door was closed so I had to drive around the corner to Cafe Trieste. The line was really long, so I walked across the street to Bacheeso and ordered a roasted turkey sandwich and a coffee to get closer to the $10 credit card minimum. However, a few hours later I realized that my wallet was missing. I definitely had it to pay for my sandwich. And since I was rushing to get back to The Beat since I left the desk unstaffed I slipped my credit card into the side pocket of my back pack - something I never do.

So on my way to Livermore last night I stopped at the cafe but no wallet - and The Beat was closed. I searched my car but no luck and this morning I hoped that it was at the studio. But also no go. I have since canceled my debit cards and will had to the DMV tomorrow morning to get a new drivers license. The only real bummer is a gift card I have from World Market. Everything else can be replaced. Randy Symank has a palm pilot if I want it. But I am rather zen about the whole thing. I wonder with all of the identity theft that I should be more concerned. But I truly think there's nothing to be worried about. It's all just a big inconvenience.

I have a big week ahead of me with teaching at Davis, a callback at 42nd Street Moon, and lots of driving. I crashed when I got home from the city this afternoon, but think my body needs to catch up. I had a little dinner at 8pm, but think I will head back to bed.

Gratitudes:
1. Randy for sharing my love of trying new things
2. living in a beautiful state
3. coffee
4. the ability to fix my own bike
5. friends who share good news

I'm a Lucky Sucker!

It's just after 11 and I am beat. I have had a cold of some sort for the past week. It started as a sore throat and is now up in my head. I feel okay, but I sound like shit. I have been driving a lot and I left my laptop power cord up in Davis and had to buy a new one today. The apartment is in no way tidy, but life is good.

And I am not just talking about seeing the clouds through the silver lining. Things are good.

First off, my folks came into town this past weekend and save a few little hiccups, the visit was great and we had a stellar time. Good food, lots of laughs, lovely scenery and lovely company. There is something strong about family. At least the relationship that I have with my parents, since I certainly don't have that bond with anyone else in the bunch.

Wow, let's not head there.

Anyway, we closed The Real Thing super strong. It renewed my faith in my work and gave me a pathway to a new community. Or at least opened my community a bit. I wish I could say the same for my camp teaching. We do such a good job getting the kids to interact and bond, but there's nothing like that for the staff. My guess is that they don't want to pay for any more time, so connections like that suffer.

But again, I digress.

But from a more positive place, my classes have been going great. The kids at CalShakes are awesome. I completely enjoy an older crew and now that I am back with the university set, it feels more comfortable. More known. Familiar.

Onward Ho! Happy.