Taking Responsibility

So I have had trouble with the law in the past few months. I am not talking about a little brush. I am talking about a full on run in. While still working for Gravity I got a moving violation for making an illegal right hand turn. I got lost while driving Tony's truck and even though I made sure that other cars were going my way, apparently I was not allowed to do that. About a month later I got two tickets for failing to make a complete stop at a red light while making a right hand turn. Yes, 2 within THREE days of each other.

Needless to say I am screwed. After going to court numerous times - well I went to San Mateo's Court 3 times since the first time it was closed for Cesar Chavez Day and the second was in error since I didn't understand how to sign up for the walk-in court. I went to Oakland's court once to deal with both right on red tickets and after paying $281 and having to satisfy 96 hours of community service I am completely humble.

Except for the fact that last week I was stopped yet again, I have been a model driver. I failed to stop behind the line at a stop sign. I did come to a complete stop, but didn't do it behind the limit line. For the first time I saw the lights and I didn't have a knot in my stomach. It was like old hat. However, as the officer approached my car reality set in. I already have two points on my license and am volunteering a huge number of hours. I could not afford any more time or money. And then I realized that I did not print out my current insurance card. Since I got my new computer, I didn't set it up to print with my old printer. Dread set in when the officer asked for my license, registration and insurance. I just looked at him and said, "please."

He was super kind and gave me a warning for my failure to stop at the stop sign and a $25 fix-it ticket for the insurance. I got very lucky. But it did make me think that while I have been very unlucky and that there are certainly worse drivers than me on the road, that I still need to take responsibility for my own actions. I guess it's a way of the universe telling me to slow down and be more aware. And maybe wear my glasses while driving. So while there have been issues I am still saying it loud and proud:

I am a good and safe driver.

And even though the letter from the DMV tells me otherwise, I know that doesn't go against my deeper knowledge. Did I break the law? Yes. Are their worse crimes and more dangerous drivers? Sure. But that does not excuse my actions. I just got caught.

So I have decided to drive less and bike and walk more. As my mother says, perhaps I cannot afford to have a car in California. So, I parked my car, attached the Club to the steering wheel and let it rest. However yesterday my car was broken into, my driver's side window smashed and the contents of my glove compartment strewn all over the front seat mixed with tons of glass. And as far as I can tell, they didn't take anything.

So, what is the universe telling me now? Who takes responsibility?