Ruminations and percolations

I have been having dreams about my high school reunion lately. Very vivid dreams that are always different. Wait, have I written that before?

Yup. In the last post..

Anyway, I have been thinking what they have been trying to tell me. When I posted that thought as my facebook status I got comments from Janice Freyler and Kathy Corcoran that I should have ATTENDED the reunion. While that may be true, I don't think that's it. What comes to mind is would I be excited to tell people what I do. Since I never want to regret anything, I am seriously thinking about where I want to be right now. The biggest thing is that I feel I am taking huge steps backwards. I am falling back on all of things I did when I got out of undergrad. Well, at least temping, but I have been thinking catering, as well. While I certainly CAN do these things, they do not bring me joy, just a paycheck and potentially some yummy leftovers.

As my ankle heals and I look for performance and teaching gigs I thought about my one time goal of creating a center for all of the things I love. A theatre/dance school, a day spa, and a restaurant all in one building. It could have a performance component or not. I guess in a scaled down version it would be a studio with an adjacent room for massage and then a little food area that sold light bites and juices.

So yesterday in my forward thinking I started looking for buildings. There were some sketchy options in Oakland, but for the most part it's an expensive venture. I would love to start small with the option of expanding. But I like the feel of all three. That's what would make it difficult to figure out which one to start if I had to choose. The logical choice would be the studio since I can do that now. I can teach group acting and dance classes and then rent it out to other teacher to do the same. Teach dance or yoga or martial arts. The day time may be light, so there are thoughts there, as well.

However, I am excited and trying to figure out the next steps. Since I cannot teach dance classes right now I am a little worried about starting this. Do I need to rent a studio myself or teach at a studio for a bit to build clientele? Do I want partners?

Thoughts?

Or as I usually say to my students - questions, comments, epiphanies?!

Epiphany!

High Over Lake Merritt

Today is day 3 of temping and I am getting used to the routine. My task list is light, so I am trying to figure out how to be productive. I don't think it's fair to do much personal stuff during the day, but I am not sure what else there is to do.

The office is super close to Lake Merritt so I am excited about the possibilities of hanging around here after work some days. It's funny that one of the places that Tony and I looked at living was very close to here.

Anyway, today I took the bus and while it's 50 cents more than my BART trip, I don't have to get in my car and I get a little walk in. They don't seem to run on the posted schedule. That either could be due to the Bay Bridge closure or just not staying to the schedule. Hopefully this will not cause problems. Especially since the bus home runs every 30 minutes vs the bus in the morning that runs every 15.

It looks like I am closer to a PT appointment. I spoke with Sports Orthopedic Specialists today and I should be able to get in next Tuesday. My first day off from temping. I really cannot wait to get this ordeal over and done with so I can start taking classes.

I have been very lazy getting home each night, so tonight I plan to do a big clean-up in preparation for Tony's return and cook some dinner before popping on the couch to watch Top Chef. I have been getting to bed before midnight each night, but my sleep has been fitful and my dreams a little wacky. I believe I've dreamed about my HS reunion twice in the last few days. I can only remember lots and lots of quick colorful images.

The weathers getting cooler, so I think I will be making some soups and stews this weekend.

Nine minutes before the quick walk to the bus begins!

Gratitudes:
1. a paid job
2. good friends
3. the feeling of possibilities
4. easy transportation
5. lots of culture

Not Feeling So Hot

It's 8 in the morning and I am sitting on the couch wearing a suit. It's been a long time since I put this suit on. Actually it's been a long time since I've put ANY suit on. I got dolled up for my temp interview last week, but I am a little lacking in the business attire realm. I am not sure if that's a good thing.

The suit fits me fine, but I have certainly gained weight over the last few months mostly because I have been a big lump. This ankle injury has caused me to abandon any and all exercise. I knew that my routine would change since I no longer had gym access and was not teaching 2 dance classes 4 days a week. However this is ridiculous. The muscle tone in my legs is just about gone and I just don't feel my best. A few months ago I could have easily said that I was in the best shape of my life. Now, it's just not so.

And now sitting on the couch, I feel a little sick. Could it be the last remnants of my cold? Or perhaps that I was hung over most of the day yesterday? Or maybe it's more of a mental thing and I really don't want to be temping?

Honestly, I really don't know. I am going to chalk it up to anxiety since I really don't know exactly where I'm going and I don't know how long it's going to take. First day jitters. However, I have a headache and I have the chills. And my stomach doesn't feel all that great, either.

I just checked the website for swine flu symptoms (with a photo of Crystal Dickinson) and I don't think that's it. I am going to drink some more water and just make it work.

Work.

Sound of Train whistles and traffic

I was going to say something about it being super quiet, but just because I finally turned the TV off doesn't mean that it's silent. In fact besides the outside noise, I also hear Ian upstairs playing music. Earlier today it was The Beatles on a keyboard, but now it's more muffled.

I am still in my PJs and of course on the couch, but I am making progress. I am securing an appointment with a PT in Oakland and think I have a temp job that starts on Monday. Not great news if I heard it two months ago, but super positive based on how things have been going.

Yesterday I had an interview with a temp agency in Emeryville. It's been a while since I interviewed for an admin position and at least 2 years since I did all of those tests. I didn't do horrible, but I certainly didn't do as well as I should have. I tested on MS Office programs from 2003 and things have changed since then. Not counting the fact that I now use a Mac with all different key codes and shortcuts.

That being said, there is a part-time temp assignment in Oakland and I think it will give me time to do my art stuff and perhaps teach a class. I may need to grab work at night, but for the time being it's okay.

Remember that guy that I met with my parents when they were out for On the Town? We ran into him at Bakesale Betty's before a show? Well, maybe I never wrote about Dore. Either way, I went out with him and his son Miles last night and Dore mentioned a great PT office in Oakland. They may be able to get me in the first week of November, but I cannot schedule an appointment until the paperwork goes through. Gosh, I love all of this red tape!

Tomorrow the folks from the PG&E CARE program come out and do the fixes on the apartment. That will probably force me to get up and dressed on the early side. My bedroom has gotten a little messy, so I would like to take a shower now and do a bit of tidying.

My cold is still present, but the congestion has eased a bit. I feel a little scratchy in the throat and a little tired, but all in all I think I'm on the mend.

Hey, I'm on the mend.

And I'm grateful.

1. discount utility programs
2. food in the freezer
3. sunny skies
4. doctors office employees who get answers to questions
5. a washing machine IN my apartment

here comes the cold

so my roomie, tony had a cold last week and even though i got my sleep and washed my hands often, i now have the sniffles. it doesn't help that the temperatures have dropped a bit and that its been a little wet out there.

i went to the orthopedist referred by UC Davis and UC Berkeley Occupational Health and Dr. Mann is referring me to a physical therapist in Emeryville due to a chip in the dorsal bone. No running or jumping, so no hip hop, but I can do yoga and bike.

I am up way too late, but thought I would get a quick entry in before I crash.

Things I am grateful for:
1. workman's comp going through
2. my patience
3. kitties to keep me warm (even though I found vomit IN MY BED last night as I got in - in the DARK)
4. my bank account
5. a comfortable home

things are looking up

well, it's thursday and I am not sure where the week went. i have been putting many things off and I am finally starting to tick off the list in my head. for such an organized person, i am not being very organized right now. two years later, i am still in transition.

however, there are some good things to report. i have an appointment with one of the local temp agencies. apparently it was unclear that i had moved from davis. so the woman who runs the agency will be sending some proficiency exams and then we are meeting next wednesday.

yesterday, i had a busy day in the city. i finally went back to the hall of justice and scheduled a hearing for my moving violation citation and today i took photos of the parking spot where i got a ticket in berkeley. here's to the end of all tickets. ever.

no performance gigs upcoming, but i do have 2 general auditions - one for shotgun players and another for cal shakes. let's hope they amount to auditions for specific shows either this season or next. i saw jasson after my name is asher lev on sunday and he said he is going to put me on the reading list of shows in development. unfortunately their entire season is cast so it may be a while until i get on stage again.

in terms of teaching, i have been doing a few workshops for epiphany. they are a little crazy and more difficult to do by myself than when i did them with kim. i do think their education component will be expanded and i will have a greater role, but it's not going to be for a while.

the biggest snafu, my ankle, still hurts. all of the walking and teaching i did yesterday did take a toll. i am not looking forward to this weekend and all of the walking with trolley dances. however, my appointment with the orthopedist is on tuesday and i am excited - giddy even - for someone to tell me EXACTLY what's wrong with me.

i have not really treated myself very much and am waiting to do some dinners and get a massage and mani/pedi until i have money coming in. however, i think a little treat will do wonders for my personal morale. i just don't think an ice cream cone is going to cut it.

But here are some gratitudes:
1. lovely weather in the bay
2. positive people around me
3. chocolate
4. art and culture close by
5. loving kitties
6. possibilities

Still on the Couch

I emailed with my friend Sarah yesterday and noticed just how much bitching I've been doing. I talked with my friend Randy last night after a little 1776 and So You Think You Can Dance and I have lost my confidence again. I was doing so well, so I think I lost it after I sprained my ankle and was no longer teaching at UC Davis. Then when On the Town closed and I found myself in a messy apartment with an ankle that still hurts and no jobs in sight, I kinda hit rock bottom.

I currently have an active citation from the CHP and a parking ticket from the City of Berkeley. I am fighting my old landlord due to deductions in my security deposit and I am getting nowhere with Unemployment, Workman's Comp and most of the headshots, resumes and CVs I've sent out. All I really want to do is sit on the couch and watch movies and drink lots from our well stocked bar.

But there is good news on the horizon. Our apartment is truly shaping up and we have not been drinking up a storm anymore. I went down to the Hall of Justice BY MYSELF in SF to deal with my citation and my confidence is starting to come back.

My ankle sometimes feels great and sometimes I feel a little hurt on the inside bone. I just want to know if I am damaging it or just have to get used to a little discomfort.

Anyway, I just took a break to bitch to my Dad and also called my old landlord to remind her about the check and the documentation. Fingers crossed that I am on the way up. Here's a bottle of water to health and employment.

Thursday morning

When Tony and I talked about our roommate situation he said that he hoped that I rubbed off more on him than he on me. Maybe I am not being assertive enough, but that is certainly not the case. I am drinking a little more than usual and I am going to sleep super late and sleeping late, as well. Except for Maxie smacking my head each morning and getting me up, most days I have been going back to sleep til at least 9AM, but sometimes 11AM. Needless to say, there is tons of work to be done in the apartment and I really need to find work.

My ankle is not fully healed, so I am afraid to really push the dance education. However of the resumes I've sent out, I have not been getting much of a bite. I got my stipend from DTC from On the Town and the last UC Davis money was deposited into my account today. The worry starts now. The economy is still so bad that I cannot even get temp work. Granted I only applied at one agency, but they basically said that they would call me, but work is coming in slowly.

I really do like living in Berkeley and every time I'm on the freeway and get a view of San Francisco, I smile. I really do think that I am meant to be here right now. I just need to find my path. And while Randy Symank is able to throw some work at me through Epiphany Productions, it's certainly not enough.

Time to make some coffee and breakfast and then sit down and get my expenses in Quicken so Sallie can finish my return. I told her that she would have it today since the extension deadline is 15 days away and we have to deal with the postal service.

But I'm trying to be positive and here's what I'm grateful for:
1. an apartment in a fun location
2. a good roommate (so far...)
3. reliable transportation
4. my website ALMOST being done
5. Randy for all of the arts related work he's passed my way.