Humbled

We are in the middle of Bay Area National Dance Week. I hoped to attend one of the free classes on Monday, but there was nothing really exciting in the East Bay. So this afternoon Christine and I went to a class in Mill Valley since I was already up there teaching the little divas. It was an Intermediate Modern Dance class. Not only was the class really large, it was full of (enter spy/thriller music here) teenagers!

Yeah, those snivelly little ones that dance well and make me look bad.

The teens take this particular class twice a week and for the love of pearl - they are in shape and resilient TEENAGERS. I tried to put it all in perspective. I mean, the class was large and I could not see well from the back. And these kids had done the combination before. But truth be told I don't dance regularly and I am not as young and I used to be. Christine and I talked about it on the way home to her house. It's not as easy to pick up steps and since the classes I attend at The Beat are small and have a lot of repetition, I am not challenging my body to process movement speedily.

About halfway through the class I realized how much I disliked the uncomfortable feeling. Actually, I think the words I used were, "I hate this." Christine responded with something about enjoying some bourbon after class. In the last 15 minutes of class my brain just shut down. And the teacher kept was not only going fast, but added new material up until the last 5 minutes. What made matters worse is that when we spoke briefly with her after class she basically said she slowed down the class to accommodate those attending from National Dance week.

Yeah, not what I needed to hear.

Anyway, it's not like I am going to be a dancer on Broadway, so it's not really a skill I need to learn. The long and the short of it is that I should b taking more classes, but I want those classes to be fun and feel good.

And that means, no teenagers.

More Funny!

Tonight I took Sarah's dance class at The Beat and then came home to shower, some nachos fixin's (AGAIN!) and a yummy margarita. I don't have much paying work to do, but since I typically meet with the musician for When You Hit Your Funny Bone on Wednesdays I am usually busy prepping on Tuesday night. The last three weeks I choreographed the three definitions I play with - laughter, comedy and humor. There is tons of work I need to do getting these physical definitions into my body. However, I have not prepped anything new.

So, I took out the script and began to update. I am in my usual place - on the couch - and at least for the next 2 weeks (before he returns to LA), there's a good chance that Tony will be next to me. Either watching basketball or playing a video game or checking out the babes on okcupid. So, that makes it very easy to get his opinion and thoughts on my solo piece. Since he was the lighting designer in its thesis form, he was involved as I created it. Therefore it was great to hear him reflect on what he remembered a year later. He gave me a lot of good feedback to truly start digging in.

I also wound up cracking up repeatedly saying the word - snorkle.

Yes, I know you feel the same way.

Full on Yoga and Chicken Nachos

I just read my roommate Tony the title of this blog post as we sit on the couch together with laptops open and he said, "sounds like a good day."

Yes, indeed.

Especially since I got home from yoga this evening to freshly made chicken tandoori and fixins for nachos. And margaritas! Delicious.

I slept until about 9:30 this morning and chilled out and washed some dishes before yoga training. The weather was absolutely beautiful on the bike ride to the studio and while we stayed inside all day I did take my mindful eating practice (aka lunch) outside in the sunshine.

In the last two days we have changed the learning process in teacher training. Instead of getting a written manual and reading it, doing the pose and then teaching it, we have started to do it without the written component. I noticed today that quite a few people did not take notes during this time. I did, but I wonder going forward if this will be helpful. I am not sure if the notes will make sense tomorrow.

Today we worked on fish pose, standing side bends and side plank. Without referring to a piece of paper forced me to finally teach the body and not the pose. Really see what's in front of you and lead the student through. The challenge was speaking quick enough so the student wasn't waiting in a difficult place. I found working with Natalie that she taught the pose which was a little frustrating. Especially since we were doing side plank. She kept instructing the pose while I was already in it. I now understand what it felt when I did similar. We had a lovely conversation about how to teach to those that know rather than those that may not. I paired later with Judy and we worked on fish pose. The first try for both of us was a little clunky, so I recommended that we each teach once and then we do it again. The second time was so much easier. It confirms my theory that I'm good teaching teachers. Or maybe I am just good encouraging just about anyone.

Hmmm, life coach, anyone?

I did have a little epiphany while talking to Eleni between training and Shy's class. I don't really enjoy talking in the discussions or group satya. However, I realized that I should go to all of the local yoga studios and apply to be a sub. If I need to keep myself open for acting jobs, it would be good to pick up classes when I can and say no when I cannot.

Since there's not much work on the horizon this week, I guess I could make the rounds sooner than later. Oh, and then there's that Funny Bone solo...

Have Towel Ready to Throw in

After only having 2 girls in class 3 weeks ago and then no class last week for spring break, i was back with the little divas in Mill Valley yesterday. I had a fun Midsummer lesson planned but it only went off with minimal success. I try to take their lead to see where their interests lie, but they really need guidance and cannot just go on their own. They really have a hard time with both discipline and focus.

It's bad.

My guess is that it's partly due to the fact that I don't have a huge amount of experience with this age group, but after talking with Christine about it afterwards, it sounds like the age category. Christine and I were going to take a walk, but we would up opening a bottle of wine instead. Genia cooked a lovely dinner and a good time was had by all.

But back to the more difficult topic at hand. How do you get these girls to pay attention? Perhaps I need to do some reading about education and development with this age group. I have been calling up tips from the Super Nanny but it's not working. When I saw Laurie Keith at the MFA Acting theses in Davis a few weeks ago she said she eventually had to give it up because she was tired of being a babysitter. Mostly that's how I feel. And I need to figure out how to make it work or I'm done.

Life Changes

We only have 5 more sessions in yoga training. I cannot believe the program has gone by so fast. Yesterday we did a bit of chanting and then as we started meditation I was all giggly. Mostly because we learned a new chant that did not have a definite end. And it went on FOREVER. I consciously tried to stop, but it was a slow moving freight train. It felt so uncomfortable that I wanted to laugh. In fact, I stifled my laugh so much that my face turned red and I added all of this heat to my body. Not pleasant to start sitting. And then I thought of this toy. The one that giggles when you shake it? I cannot find a photo, but you know the one I'm talking about. Well, that just made matters worse. My whole body started to shake and I thought I would have to leave the room. I wound up breathing through it and then meditating just fine. After meditation we got a little parable (aka talkin' to) about confusion. He ended with a punchline/buddhist thought that a number of us did not understand. We were told to meditate on it.

On more positive notes, our challenge for the day was to gather in groups of 4 and teach 30 minute classes. During meditation I "cheated" and came up with a good sequence. Okay it was not really cheating because I was not given the task until AFTER meditation, but still. I did not allow the thoughts to pass through like clouds. I was quietly thinking. However, when it came time for me to teach, we had done most of the those poses already and I became un-attached to doing what I mentally planned. Look at me getting all zen! So I just taught what felt good and what flowed together. Poses that I like, that we hadn't done yet, or hadn't done in a while. I mirrored, I got up and adjusted and better than that It felt good. I got good feedback on my nurturing quality and being totally present while teaching. My voice was also mentioned, however I have gotten to a place where my vocal quality is so strong and direct that when I ask the class to relax or soften, sometimes I instruct too harshly. The fine tuning is so much more enjoyable than feeling like I have no idea what I'm doing. After lunch we shared our experiences a bit and Shy asked if the training has also spilled into our daily lives. I know that it's changed my body and slowly, but surely it will continue changing my daily habits, as well.

In the health department, I woke up yesterday morning without a sore throat and my lymph nodes on the right side greatly reduced in size. There is still some congestion in my nose, but for the most part I feel great. To celebrate I had a wonderful dinner with Emily Pender who is in town for a conference. It was great to catch up with her since I have not seen her since I left Atlanta 2 and a half years ago. I was supposed to see Daniel May today, but he flew stand-by home, but I have plans to see Jillian St. Charles tomorrow night since she will be in town for business.

It will be great to share some more good news!

Sunny on a Thursday

Well it's almost 6PM and I have been going strong since 8AM. I picked up some casual carpool passengers at North Berkeley and headed over the bridge. When I pulled up at BART there was a swarm of people standing on the curb and no other cars. I thought was going to be attacked. Three passengers jumped in and we were off.

I spent a good hour last night prepping for the first meet and greet with the schools for Kids on Track. I decided with all of the running around it would be better to take my car and pray to the lord above that I would find parking. I love the Google Maps feature that allows you to put in multiple addresses - and move them around. So, planning a route to 7 different locations was not difficult. It was pretty easy. In fact, the only parking trouble I had was for an unplanned stop in the Mission. I wanted to tick at least one 7x7 food off my list. So, I stopped at Tartine and got their morning bun. It was a mix between a muffin, a cinnamon roll and a croissant. Delicate orange sugar make it sticky and yummy, but I have to be honest at $3.75 I am not sure it was worth it. The photo is from 2006 and the price has gone up. And to be honest they did not look that good. Nevertheless, the case of baked goods did look amazing. Cakes and tarts, brownies and cookies. I still need to go back and get some fresh bread and then some cheese from Bi-Rite down the street.

Another time.

I started walking down Guerrero to my first school on 23rd, but when I saw the giant hill, I decided to turn around and get my car. All in all the schools were receptive. It was too early for most (since SF Trolley Dances is not until October) and the only school that I paid to park informed me that they were closing at the end of the school year. There's a good bit of follow up and approaching other schools, but it was a good start.

But the highlight of the day was the first Yoga by the Bay. Two of the teacher trainers in my class started doing yoga outside at the Berkeley Marina. We are making it a regular thing. A donation based class for us to keep practicing and to continue building community. The ground was uneven which made the usually challenging balance poses next to impossible. However I left with my headache gone and a little sun on my face. I wasn't planning on teaching, but I did lead a little cool down- twisted belly and boat pose before savasana. As I left. Vlad started instruction of some pranayama and Christina planned to close the session with a little meditation. It was such a nice feeling to do yoga by the water with the breeze and the sun.

I will sleep well tonight.

Well so much for that

Last night after I got home from dance class I ate a little dinner and sat on the couch watching American Idol and Glee. Around 9:30PM I felt my throat close slightly. It's a horrible feeling. I was unsure that I would be breathing much longer. Or that during the night my throat would be so constricted that I would not be able to breathe.

Well, that did not happen. However, the nodes on my left side are starting to swell like the ones on the right, my throat is now a little sore and I just started coughing. The coughing seems a little reactionary, but I really don't know what to believe anymore.

Therefore I plan to head to the Lifelong Administrative Offices at 9AM to get a referral and figure out who can see me today and then I'll meet with Colin to work on Funny Bone for a few hours and hopefully then I will be seen by a doctor in the afternoon.

I went to The Secrethideout and while it's not very active anymore, I saw the last photo I posted just over a month ago. Look at that. A nice clean and shiny neck. It stares at me, taunting me.

"This is what your neck COULD and SHOULD look like. Not all bumpy like it does now.

Go to the doctor, you stupid bitch."

Okay, maybe the bitch part is a little overdramatic, but I did watch Glee last night. And yes, I can no longer wait like the kind folks at The Berkeley Free Clinic suggested. I truly need medical attention. Even it's to tell me that there's nothing majorly wrong and I just have to wait it out.

Magical Yogis, part 2

After our usual mindful lunch on Sunday, we came back for the second exercise of the day. It was a communication task that Simona enjoys. We were asked to do satya in pairs where we each spoke without stopping for 10-15 minutes. The listener was supposed to just be open and make no verbal or physical responses. We did have the option of saying no to a pairing if we were not comfortable. I dreaded this exercise since I was worried who I would be paired with. I played the passive card and waited to be approached rather than choosing. Lisa came up to me and asked to partner and I was relieved.

Lisa was having a migraine and since I also had a headache it made it easy to start speaking from this place, rather than from a more neutral place. My health issues and low confidence came up, but I did find it very hard to talk. I wound up using filler phrases or repeating "I don't know what to say," until I found my way. Lisa on the other hand found it much more difficult to stay silent than to speak.

I found this very interesting especially with the recent thoughts about the throat.

Externally, Taurus rules the throat, neck, ears and lower jaw. Internally, this Sign governs the vocal chords, tonsils and palate. Those under the influence of Taurus can often be identified by their long and expressive necks. In particular, the Taurus female typically has lovely skin around the throat and collarbone area while both sexes are known for their melodious speaking voices. Many Taurus subjects are fine singers. Given these bodily jurisdictions, however, Taurus individuals are prone to throat-related problems (hoarseness for example) and appear to be particularly vulnerable to suffer from colds which settle in the throat. There is also a tendency to be more susceptible to Strep infections and Taurus subjects seem to experience more painful sore throats of longer duration than any other Zodiac Sign. Coughs, earaches, laryngitis, stiff necks and minor injuries around the area of the neck are also common complaints for those born under this Sign. In addition, Taurus seems to be especially prone to the danger of a stroke. When Taurus becomes physically tired or overly-tense, a cough or a stiff neck is frequently the outward manifestation. In fact, many Taurus individuals through much of life with a semi-permanent "crick" in the neck.

Needless to say, it was a very emotional day. I did stay for Shy's class and took it easy. We truly came together as a class and the relationships became much stronger. I took Emily home after class and we spoke about how the training is almost over and how surprising it is that time has gone by so quickly. I was excited to see that Christina and Vlad created an outdoor yoga group for us to continue practicing and teaching on a donation basis. I hope to go to the first one this Thursday afternoon and begin to teach as soon as possible.

And yes, I will continue to be mindful of my throat issues. Hopefully this will allow the lymph nodes to do their job and return to their normal size.

Magical Yogis, part 1

I got to sleep late last night after coming back from Game Night at Marc and Amy's and with the rain and the cold I finally yanked myself out of bed at 10:30AM. I ate my regular breakfast of eggs and flour tortillas and set off the smoke alarm - as usual. I took ibuprofen for my headache and sudafed for my congestion and I didn't want to leave the house. In fact, when i finally left the house it was 11:50AM. Only 10 minutes to get to yoga training, sign in and get myself prepped for meditation. I have noticed quite a few of the teacher training participants coming late or leaving early or not showing up at all. I don't know anyone else's situation, but I seriously contemplated skipping today.

That would have been a huge mistake for I would have missed a day of magic.

When I entered the studio the energy was very warm and open. I quickly removed my rain boots, put my bags down and grabbed a blanket for meditation. Most everyone was stretching a bit and we as we sat Shy led us through a group inhalation and an exhalation on a "HO" three times. It was funny and lightened the mood. When I finally closed my eyes I was ready to sit. It was easy and powerful. Shy eventually had us lightly open the eyes and become aware of the spaces between objects, the colors and light. As we moved into the Mystery Room we needed to keep focus from meditation and place our mats in a circle ready for an asana practice. I found that a little odd since the day ends with us taking Shy's class, why would we prep for practice with writing material. Shy lead us in a little warm up and said that the first exercise of the day would be similar to satya, but instead of sharing through speaking, we would be sharing through asana. As a group we would teach a full yoga class. Taking turns teaching a pose or a series of poses as we went around the circle. I was towards the end of the circle so I feared that I would be stuck with the crap poses. Or at least the poses that no one else wanted to do or could not remember. Either that or I would be leading Eko Pada Raja Kapotanasana - pigeon pose - a pose I've taught the last three times we had to teach a small group.

For the most part, I was completely impressed by everyone. There are a number of people I have yet to work with or have not worked with in a while. It made me realize that I really have to go out of my way and work with those folks I could learn from. I was proud to be in the company of such inspirational people - who were there to share their practice and teach from listening to their bodies. Just as in satya, I was very nervous when it came around to me. The two people that were before me I don't usually work with, so I thought they would leave me in a weird pose or not be conscious about the flow. Well, one of them did, but the other did not. And when she looked at me to pass the torch, I completely went blank. We were standing in tadasana with our hands in prayer position in front of the heart. She had us taking deep breaths and I needed to continue that breath in order to figure out what the fuck was I going to do. I brought awareness to what we have learned and we have yet to explore. And suggested a body scan head to toe to just check in. I had a feeling that no one would do dolphin pose, so that was my fall back. There were 3 people after me, so they could do the cool down. Therefore I had one last chance to do something intense. Once I got them to downward dog, it all seemed so easy. I ended in balasana. Eleni came after me and was very impressed that I was able to project my voice while in dolphin and dolphin plank. Cyrus also approached me as we broke for lunch and said that he was craving dolphin and was so excited that I chose to do it. It made me realize that this whole yoga thing is possible. That I can just share my practice and teach a good class. That the silence and the breath are okay for everyone even though I feel like I need it just for me.

It may be the reason I need to stay in California. This is what I need to learn here. To find that humility and confidence - effort and release.

The Ugly Side

I thought it may have been the caffeine, but I was full of anxiety much of the day. I sat at my desk entering data and my insides were jumping. It was not exciting, but more negative. I started thinking about how skilled I am and how I am still struggling. How much I think of and give to others and how rarely others give back. I was ready to change my Facebook status to reflect that idea, but decided against it. It's not anyone's problem, but mine. I eventually let that anger go and kept working. It's a tough time and most everyone is out for his/herself. I really need a personal heart to heart to figure out my next steps. I know that I can do anything, I just have to figure out what I truly want.

I headed into the city after work to meet with Lauren and Nathan for a glass of wine before they met other friends for dinner. I had a few hours to kill and decided to get my brows waxed since I was not really hungry. As I entered the building off Market there was a woman ahead of me who opened the door for herself and basically let it slam in my face. I entered behind her and loudly said, "thanks!" She turned around to look at me, a little surprised that someone would stop her. But her actions were unchanged. It's not the first time I have done this. It really drives me crazy when people are so unaware of others. So selfish.

There was a sign at the entrance that all guests had to sign in at the desk. At first I didn't see an attendant, so I was going to walk on by, but since I didn't want to ride in an elevator with this bitch, I decided to hang back and sign in. The attendant appeared and stopped the rude woman and asked her to come back and sign in. At first she said no because she was late, but he said that he would not allow her up if she didn't follow instructions. As I was filling out the form the woman grabbed another pen that was attached to another clipboard and tried to drag it over to where I was. The attendant asked her to wait and she complained that there should be a second form since she was late for her hair appointment. The fine man held her back and after I signed in, I walked quickly to the elevator so she would have to catch the next one. As I walked away I let out a cackle. Yes, it was a cackle. Loud and obnoxious. It was so evil and wrong, but it felt so good. It actually sounded fake and I ran out of the air at the end. I started to analyze for the laughter section of Funny Bone.

Needless to say the woman had the same destination as me - a little nail salon on the 7th floor. I sat in the waiting area reading one of the scripts Jasson loaned me and she waltzed in and loudly greeted one of the estheticians. She sat down to wait at one of the manicure stations. SHE WAITED. She could not be bothered about signing in and then had to wait. About 5 minutes later, she called back to the waxing technician that she needed to get her hair done and she would come back in an hour. I let it go by this point and luckily the woman did not confront me either.

And now I have stunning brows.

More from the exciting world of Health

For a person that rarely gets sick it's been a little more than disconcerting that I have had so many health issues in the past 6 months. I like to think that when I am under the weather, it's a little sign that I need to slow down. Pay attention to my body and relax a bit.

But this is ridiculous.

Sprained ankle, broken foot, vertigo and a think there was a cold somewhere in there. I did go back to the orthopedist on Monday and he said that the ligaments in my left ankle are still a little loose. And now, for the last week I have a swollen lymph node. I have always had some type of throat issue and when I met with Bella last year she mentioned that Taureans tend to have problems in this area. Remember? Anyway, since I needed a TB test to work at Cal Shakes, I decided to follow the great posts on yelp and go see the nice people at the Berkeley Free Clinic. They only take appointments day of and they start at 7pm. So last night I made an appointment to get the test and have them look at my nodes.

To keep the suspense low, they basically said that I should not be concerned. I have no cough or sore throat, so there's a good chance that my lymph system is just fighting something off. Appointments at the clinic are completely free which makes this a great option since I have no health insurance. But when I go back on Saturday to have them check my arm where they injected the TB goo, I will probably leave some money. I may even volunteer when I have more steady employment.

I should be drinking more water and getting more sleep. So I am calling it a night. Yoga was a huge help this evening and so was the prescription of sudafed that they gave me last night. But for now I will rest.

Public Displays of Attention

Today was bizarre day. There were an extraordinary number of strange public events - well, maybe not strange, but openly attention grabbing. Here are two:

1. The Lady in the Wheelchair
Since I temped for the nurses today I biked to BART and hopped a train headed towards Oakland. It always amazes me how quiet the station and trains usually are. There's rarely any talking. Most people are sleeping or reading and many have ear buds in creating their own soundtrack. Alongside the track there is a yellow security line with black rectangles evenly dispersed. These mark where the doors will open and especially at the North Berkeley station riders ritualistically line up each morning. It always amazes me that everyone knows where the last train will stop - dependent on how many cars are listed to arrive. It's an unspoken understanding. It's rare to see anyone standing in a rectangle that is out of the boundary of the train.

Anyway, today when the train arrived there was a woman in a wheelchair at the door of the car that I was waiting to enter. As is customary exiting comes before entering. So we waited for this woman to come off the train, but she was not budging. So, silently, we all squeezed around her. I found it very odd. When we got to Berkeley she was still in the same place and I wondered what the reactions of the entering passengers would be. Most people did the same squeezing around, but one woman actually said, "are you trying to get off?" The woman in the chair said "no, if I was I would just charge ahead and run over peoples toes." There was a defiance in her. A sense of entitlement. I found it very rude and was pleased to see her gone at Ashby.

2. The Run and Grab
As I left the office and headed down 20th to BART there was a couple behind me that was clearly looking for something - asking for directions. I wanted to be helpful, but I didn't want to dilly dally so I could get home and to The Beat before Sarah's class to work on the definition of Laughter for Funny Bone. As we got to the corner to wait for the light a man to my left asked the couple (who now moved ahead of me) what they were looking for. I believe it was a CitiBank. There's literally every bank in the area, but I had no idea where CitiBank was. I think it was a woman who mentioned she thought that CitiBank down Franklin. The guy in the couple grabbed his girlfriend's hand and prepped to run as the crosswalk counted down 3-2-1 and the guy started to sprint, but the woman yelled "NO!" and pulled him back. Others on the corner made verbal responses and I started laughing. Loud and proud. It was so surprising and happened so fast. I smiled as we all crossed the street and giggled.

I'm on the couch, but...

I was very productive today.

It could have been that I was up at 6:30AM and expected the grocery store to open at 7. But I ran the dishwasher and did a load of laundry. I also made (and ate) a pretty decent tuna salad and played a round or two of Word Twist on Facebook before I headed to Office Depot and the Orthopedist at 8:15AM.

But it doesn't end there...

After driving into the city and back with Randy to do a bit of Epiphany work and then sending off the CA$H grant AND my tax returns, I took an awesome yoga class with Shy at 7th Heaven. Honestly, I am starting to get a little Shy-ed out. Training on the weekends and one or two weekly classes with him. I really need to change it up and get some new perspectives. If classes were not so expensive I would totally do it. Well, that, and right now I am totally booked.

Anyway, I went into class tonight not very excited. However, it was like he read my mind and we did a whole bunch of new things. First we arranged ourselves in a circle rather than him in the front of the room and the class facing him. I saw a few mats down in a circular configuration, but figured they were from the previous class. Nope. When Shy gave the directions I must have made an incredulous face for someone commented on it. The circle allowed us to see each other and we not only requested areas to work on, but introduced ourselves to the group, as well. It was a very loving class. Easy care at the beginning and then a little more heat as we progressed. We did Warrior III as a group in the circle and paired up to do ab work and stretching in balasana. The energy in the room felt great and it was exactly what I needed. During tonight's practice I also noticed increased flexibility in Eka Pada Rajakapotasana II and more quad engagement in my down dog. I love feeling progress.

Needless to say I am exhausted. And the sleeping kitties next to me do not make it any easier. I did promise myself that I would not go to sleep with a dirty sink, so off the couch and in to the kitchen. Perhaps I will decide how I want to "break" my Passover tomorrow night.

Some Things I Know

Well, I am back on the couch with kitties around and yes, my apartment is well...a disaster. Yes, loyal readers this should not be a big surprise. Since I have been busy, I have been a little delinquent with the domestic duties. Okay, okay, I hear my old roommates who all ganged up on me at my Atlanta going away party. I am not really a tidy person. But things are getting really bad. And rather than doing the dishes and getting my dirty laundry in the hamper I am sitting on the couch watching Jon Stewart on DVR and blogging.

Take that, bitches!

Some good news.
I am turning out to be a really good yoga teacher. I was worried there for a while because I am such a strong educator and truly have much to give. But the training has been difficult and I dread teaching more than it excites me. While I have been practicing yoga for just over 4 years, there is still so much more to learn. It's more than just knowing the poses, it's instructing how to do them and making adjustment to each individual student. Shy has said that we need to teach the person not the poses. While I did teach well today, I wound up just teaching poses. Last week Simona talked about my great voice, but my tendency is to use flowery language when I don't need to. It sounds good, but she felt it may be perceived as insincere. Today, Shy observed me teaching navasana to Natalie and a similar comment came out. He actually said that I may use my performance quality like a crutch but I don't think of it that way. It is my way of giving support vocally. But the big thing is that I don't need to. Or don't need to do as much. It kinda goes back to my tendency to overact - thinking that I have do something for it to be interesting. This is another opportunity for me to learn that just being is good enough. In fact, at the end of the day after our at times dull discussion about time, my energy was super low. I gathered with Eleni and Hillary and was just about to be student and not teach, when I realized that I am passing up a great opportunity to do a little bit of warm-up/restorative yoga. I was very conscious of not pushing vocally. While I had a brain fart at the end, I felt good. Eleni commended my vocal quality right away.

Since my week is a little wacky, I need to be efficient with my time and squeeze in some yoga and meditation EVERY day.

I did not stay for Shy's class this evening so I could head into the city to see some solo works at one of the small theatres in SOMA. I wanted to see what solo performers were doing. The evening was disappointing, but not surprising. The performers had some good ideas, but only two of the four had good acting skills. I felt like I could assist each of them execute better pieces. And as expected it was a good kick in the pants to get When You Hit Your Funny back in business. I need to have worked on the first round of gestures by Wednesday morning when I play with Colin. I should be able to finalize the definition tomorrow and get up off the couch and get laugh back into my body. The theatre CA$H grant from Theatre Bay Area is due tomorrow, so fingers crossed that I get a little support from the community.

Back on the Road to Funny

A year ago this week I presented my solo thesis show. I hoped that by now I would have reworked the show and been ready to perform. As we know the last 6 months have been quite a challenge and the months before that were finishing up school, Oklahoma and Dada and then teaching, On the Town, a move and an injury. It's not like I have been doing nothing. I have been reading and jotting notes and re-reading my written thesis and script.

Today, I met with Colin a musician in Albany who responded to my Craigslist ad. I went in with no expectations and after I vomited the show's past and the ideas that I have, he was still interested. So, we scheduled a meeting for next Tuesday morning and I gave myself some homework. I am starting with the Definition section of the piece. It's definitely a place I dragged my feet last time but it's the place that will definitely need some musical accompaniment. Now that the piece is in process, I need to also work on some performance ops and funding ops.

Work has been a little light this week so after a massage tomorrow morning I will spend the rest of the day hitting my funny bone.

Oh, and I decided to call another temp agency today and they returned the call immediately. And after I logged all of my 2009 expenses in prep for my taxes I realized that last year was not so bad. This year is only a quarter down and I just feel the potential buzzing.