Weekend of Brand New

Okay, I think I am officially a Bay Area babe. Yesterday I went to my first laughter yoga class in the Grand Lake area and the Farmer's Market immediately afterwards. In the evening I met Andrea and some of the MTC ladies at AT&T Park for the Giants v the Arizona Diamondbacks. And yes, there was a protest about the whole immigration issue. And then today I went to a yoga class followed by Ecstatic Dance. Unfortunately I cannot say that I biked to any of this, but like many people in the Bay Area. I drove my car. Well except to the baseball game, I took BART and walked. The weather was super nice today, but when I got home I went inside and completely crashed on the couch.

So my plans of cleaning the apartment and working on funny bone and updating my hours and invoices - well, yeah, that didn't happen. if i head to bed in the next 30 minutes, i should be able to get up early and bust some shit out.

that and i really think i need a life coach.

What I'm Grateful for:
1. two loving lap felines
2. gorgeous weather
3. pluots in season
4. supportive friends
5. possibilities

Notes to the Self

First off, when you are watching a live reality competition result show, don't check twitter. I mean, I know it goes without saying, but I guess I have my stupid hat on. Momentarily forgetting that I am 3 hours behind the original broadcast of the finale of American Idol I decided to check Twitter to see if anyone on this coast was tweeting about Alice Cooper opening the show. Yeah, dumb move. Since on the right bar I see the current top phrases in tweets listed at least 2 mentions to Lee Dewyze winning. I have to admit that I am a little surprised. I was not an avid follower this year or last, but every time I did catch it, Crystal Bowersox seemed to just bring it. As I watch this 2 hour event, it makes me sad. There is so much money, attention and viewership but the contestants are just not that good. As a whole. There are a few people that busted it out, but I think the show has lost it's luster. And that makes me sad.

Fortunately that is not the same with So You Think You Can Dance. Hopefully the DVR setting is still active from the last season. Since the coming months will be a little crazy, I don't think I will have a chance to watch it live. I will be in rehearsals and teaching and doing a few hours here and there with Kim and Jess, and then there is increased catering work with Hugh.

I spoke to yet another non-profit dance company today about doing some administrative work. The artistic director asked me about my teaching and other work and then there was the telling question about also being a performer. And I really had to think about it. I have to be honest and say that I am not sure how much performance will be doing on a regular basis. I did the generals last week at CenterREP and felt good, but when I did them at Berkeley Rep on Tuesday, I just felt okay. I am still doing the show this summer and I am making plans for When You Hit Your Funny Bone, so don't fret. However, perhaps scripted plays are not the best medium for me. Perhaps there is a better performative medium for me. Or not.

I reminds me of this conversation I had with Margaret Baldwin in the germinations of my departure from Synchronicity and Atlanta. I drove over late at night in my pajamas and we sat on her front porch. I knew change was on the horizon and I needed a wise perspective. I mentioned it here two years ago. Either I'm slow on the pick up or I need a little reflection (and a good kick in the pants) every year or so.

Duly noted.

Juggling

I noticed that the Working Actors Workout this Wednesday is all about basic clowning and juggling skills. I really want to go. I have always wanted to add a little juggling into Funny Bone - or at least have the option. I have lots of potential meetings and now that I'm doing catering deliveries for Hugh Groman and there is another potential arts admin job the schedule juggling continues.

I am trying to be good and as opportunities come up I ask myself 'how does this serve me?' i need to remember that I have skillz and I don't have to settle. I need to be paid what I'm worth and the jobs I take need to either serve my bank account, my career or my soul.

In the meantime, I am grateful:
1. Grocery Outlet
2. upcoming rehearsals
3. upcoming arts volunteer ops
4. yummy red wine
5. pandora to work by

Early Start

It's amazing how productive one can be if the day starts early. My lovely cat, Maximillian for the last year has gotten me up around 6:30am each morning. During grad school that was usual for me since 2 days a week I taught at 8am. However, with my schedule a little looser these days, that's a little harder to handle. And better yet, about a week ago, he decided that I need to get up around 5:45. Most days I just go back to bed for a few hours, but since I have an interview down in Cupertino this morning, I thought I should get up and get some things done.

Mostly clean and then prep for the interview.

Tony called me last night and told me that his sister and her two friends would be crashing here the next two nights. So, first up this morning was doing dishes, putting away some clean clothes and making the bed. I then made myself a nice pot of espresso and straightened up the living room and did some computer work.

I wish I did more this week on Funny Bone. Well, I did some reworking, but not very much practical work that I can work on with Colin. Let me put away some dishes and do another round of dishes and see if I can run the definition dances before I hit the road.

Gratitudes:
1. sunny skies
2. work possibilities
3. nice audition auditors (from the one yesterday)
4. inexpensive or free yoga
5. sleeping lap kitties

Building Communities

Still with my jacket on after getting home from Noga's house this evening. She invited a few of us from the yoga training over for Shavuos. That's just how lazy I am. It was really nice to gather with this group of women and I do hope to continue gathering on a regular basis with or without yoga. I was very happy that there was wine on the buffet table because I needed it after an exciting day with my little divas and a faculty meeting to process it. I made a quiche, but in my typical potluck fashion I didn't have any of it since I knew there would be plenty leftover - and I mean there's only so much quiche one can eat.

Not too much else to report. No word on the audition I went to on Monday and my temp job tomorrow and the catering gig on Saturday were cancelled. I will be heading to see BATS on Saturday night with Colin and we rehearse on Friday, so I'd better get my butt in gear and take some time to rehearse tomorrow on my own.

I'm doing the general auditions at Center REP tomorrow, so hopefully that will take me another step closer to my city take-over.

Things that I am grateful for:
1. yummy food
2. supportive colleagues
3. washer and dryer in the apartment
4. an upcoming acting gig
5. no one to judge me for my messiness

There's a New Sheriff in Town

And she's taking over. Well, we all have to have a goal.

I would like to start with the Bay Area. And after today I do think it's possible. But it's gonna take work. Lots of it.

I feel like I spent most of the day on the couch. And yeah, well I did. I did a bit of work for Nathan and Lauren, as well as for Gravity. I did have a good audition at MTC and fingers crossed that Ryan saw something worth seeing again. I was very conscious about keeping things simple. Not overacting and being super truthful. And for the most part it worked. Most of the laughs happened where they should have and it was easy. So, to be honest, I will be disappointed if I don't get a callback, but I was able to be skillful in my practice.

I know, I know, how yogic of me.

Better yet, while reading at audition in their small theatre, I was excited to act. I wanted to be on that stage, speaking those lines. I wanted to tell her story. And it's been a while since I felt that.

So, when I came home I had a nice IM conversation with Christine. We are both in the same boat. Both talented women with degrees who are struggling for work. I passed on what was told to me by that consultant last week at the TBA Annual Conference. This life doesn't get any easier. There are a few lucky ones, but most of us have to keep fighting. Or being proactive. I think I am saying it better than the consultant, but you get my drift. The arts are hard, education is a struggle and with the economy the way it is, it's even tougher. Those with job openings are getting the pick of the litter. They don't have to work so hard to fill them. There are tons of not only qualified, but exemplary people applying. She mentioned that I would be a good life coach, and it's nothing I don't already know. However I have placed a moratorium on formal schooling until I can actually make some money. Not only that but I am busy. I have a plan.

It's only a matter of time - that is, if my goal is to take over.

Which it is.

So as soon as that was decided I got a phone call from Cal Shakes offering me more work over the summer. Then the even better job at UC Berkeley called. He was bummed that I have already accepted other work. The money would have been good, but it would not have allowed me to work at MTC, Cal Shakes and do the show down in Livermore. My soul needs some artistic work right now, so even though my saving accounts needs a serious payback, I think I made the right decision. I also got a call from the catering company I work work offering me more work. And general audition slot at CenterREP for Thursday. I also removed Facebook from my Bookmark Bar. The weening begins now.

I then spent the next few hours signing up to usher at various theatres and venues. If I am going to take over, I need to be known in the community. I need to get out there and see everything and meet the decision-makers. Tonight I had the choice of going to Keith Hennessey's workshop or the Porchlight reading. The first would have given me an opportunity to work on my movement from Funny Bone or create some new stuff and the second would have introduced me to the storytelling world in the Bay Area. I probably made a mistake here, but I decided to blow them both off and make myself a nice dinner with a glass of wine and watch TV. I didn't want to spend any more money today and a gals gotta rest if she's going to continue to...say it with me...

take over the world!

Gratitudes:
1. more leftovers
2. cats who don't judge
3. laughter
4. DVR & the internet
5. my neti pot

Approaching Yoga

I returned to 7th Heaven this afternoon for an Inversion Workshop and Shy's class. It was slightly weird to not be in the studio at noon since it's where I've spent my Sundays for the last 5 months. I first saw Justin who was in my class and he said something about the studio not being our home anymore. And I totally felt that. There is something very homey about that place, but it didn't feel the same today.

The workshop was good. It did not blow me away, but I approached inversions in a new way. Aubrey Hackman and Shy made inversions very accessible. Their teachings gave me a great "in" to be able to lead an inversion based class. Balasana, Uttanasana, Adho mukha svanasana, Prasarita Padottanasana are light inversions. It's an easy way into the power of working with gravity in a new way. It's also easier to approach those poses than the full inversions of headstand and shoulder stand which are more challenging for beginning students.

During Shy's class I found some new things, as well. First, ways to build heat are both keeping the flow and holding difficult poses for longer. I find that the classes I teach lately are more calming. I would love an opportunity this week to teach a power class. The second thing I found was jumping up into ottanasaa from down dog. Keeping forward momentum and not looking back I was able to jump up with ease and grace - feet between the hands, not behind. I wound up surprising myself.

Here's to strong yoga this week, as well as a successful audition tomorrow and a good interview for a writing gig on Friday.

Gratitudes:
1. yoga
2. Word Twist on Facebook
3. a sturdy bike
4. coffee with soy milk
5. a jazz festival on 4th street

Lazy Saturday

It's not like I had big plans for today, but for the most part I just laid low. Work for Nathan and Lauren and then a shift at The Beat with Chauncey's class thrown in there for good measure.

I was thinking about heading into the city to usher at YBCA and see Smuin Ballet, but my procrastination got the better of me. And after eating a dinner of tortilla chips, I still sit here. Tomorrow I will do a bit more work for Nathan and Lauren and work on my MTC audition and Funny Bone.

But here are some gratitudes:
1. growing friendships
2. catering leftovers
3. sunny skies
4. The Mentalist on DVR
5. Maximillian, the pain in the ass lap kitty

Funny Bone unlocked

So over a year later, I finally was able to get the video of my thesis performance, have it transferred to a DVD (from a mini-DV tape) and uploaded to youtube. Lots of thanks to Rosamund Grimshaw, who I worked with on Jess Curtis' show in February. She was very kind and now I am able to revisit and start to pick apart what worked and what didn't. And the biggest thing, I am now able to see the dang thing. I showed it to my musician, Colin yesterday and now that it's on youtube, I can share it with the world.

For at least a few weeks. Then I am going to take it down.

But in the meantime, here's the link to part 1. I tried to embed, but the window goes outside the frame of the blog. Enjoy!

Yoga-licious!

Sunday morning I woke up completely exhausted. A full day of asana is quite intense. Okay, maybe it wasn't a full day, but teaching 1 short class on Saturday and taking 4 others did a number on my hip flexors and my hamstrings. I guess that's what a shit load of adho mukha svanasana does.

The yoga training was quite an experience. Full of challenges and successes. When we finally took Shy's class Sunday evening, I was wiped. Most of the teacher trainers were in the back row and many of us observed rather than doing asana for most of the class. For the first time I did stay for meditation since we were doing a little potluck party afterwards. It was a great way to breathe and center. Shy gave us one final exercise at the party. It was similar to the "spreading sunshine" exercise I do that I learned from the folks at Moving in the Spirit in Atlanta years ago. However, in this case, Shy wanted us to talk to each person in the program privately and tell them what we thought about them. To be honest, I am not a fan of that structure. I tend to keep things more positive, so I went the "sunshine" way and told people what I appreciated about them.

It saddened me that for many people I spoke with I started by saying that we really don't know each other. In those last two days we really began to open up, truly support each other and share. Of the people who attended the evening potluck, there was only one person with whom I did not really get along. So I just avoided her all together. However, I did speak to everyone else - well, except for the significant others and the guys that were there that I didn't know at all. Luckily the guys in question were musicians, so there was lovely musical accompaniment for our intimate conversations.

In this time of struggling friendships and lack of community, I was very moved by all of my connections that evening. Most people commented on my enthusiasm, positive energy, sense of humor, ease in giving difficult feedback or constructive criticism. Other mentioned my creativity in class planning and nurturing quality. And everyone that took my Saturday assessment class gave me positive comments. I regretted the class I taught because it was not the best way to showcase my skills with teaching asana and alignment. However, I taught for students in the room. With all of the negativity around me these last few months, it truly surprised me that I was being recognized for the person I want to be. And perhaps it's closer to the person that I am.

The biggest news that I taught my first public 90 minute yoga class last night. Moksha Life Center was recommended to me by Lauren Gunderson. I contacted them a few weeks ago and Gwen asked me to sub, but I was unable. So, while it scared me to death, I taught last night. I was a bit tired from a long day in the city. There was a massage intern from NHI giving free chair massages, so I sat down and he worked his magic. So much so, that I started to overheat and get light headed. I was dehydrated, so with these new toxins floating around, it didn't help. But I found teaching relatively easy. I let my body decide on the poses and guided alignment both with my voice and with light touch. I asked for feedback after the class and both of the students said they really liked it. That it was relaxing. I left with a check in hand and a smile on my face.

Besides the ginger snaps that I bought earlier in the day from Miette at the Ferry Building, teaching yoga was a nice birthday gift.

You Gotta Assess (chuate) the Positive

This week marks the last weekend of yoga teacher training and today was the first of two assessment days. Starting last night I got very nervous and my anxiety just increased this morning. I had a good idea for a class, but since I really wanted to stay in the moment, I never went through it or timed anything. So my class on asana from the chakras was just okay. To give myself some credit, it was certainly creative and I'm guessing different from everyone else's. However, I ran out of time the poses I chose did not allow for much detailed instruction. I did teach for the bodies in the room, but I took on too much. In my discussion with Shy afterwards, we decided that it was a good learning experience. And better yet, the class did learn new things.

The best thing, however is that when I went into teaching, I was not nervous at all. I was able to just be open and share. There were definitely some clunky parts, but it's a good start. I have truly learned to build upon my strengths and teach a good class. My asanas are also stronger. It would be nice to say that I will be better about taking on a daily practice, but I cannot guarantee that. I want to keep my energy of "no judgement" up as I aim to do what feels good and helps my body and mind.

I took a week off from working on Funny Bone, so I need to jump back into that. Especially since I saw the video from my thesis and would like to work on a few elements. I also got notification that I did not get the CA$H grant, so I must find some other funding sources.

No rest for the weary, funny yogi!

sunshine Dada smile

Today I am having a sad day. I'm not going into detail, but that being said, I am doing relatively okay. The sun is shining, I had a simple and what felt like a successful print audition this morning. Luckily Nathan's office was right down the street. As I settled in to do a bit of work I got this email...

Hello there Hope --

So I'm sitting on my bed sick with strep throat and reading my Dada's Women that I'm technically reading so I can write a Paper for a Class, but really I'm just curious. And I think to myself, I want to stage a Dada Cabaret.

So then I hop online to see if I could find any video representations of what I could think of or perhaps someone has already done something of the sort before or is currently doing said thing and I could talk with them and See.

And your website was the second thing listed (right after Dada improvisational company) and I was intrigued and clicked on it and smiled and kept on smiling and then found myself on your blog and that was thoroughly enjoyable as well.

Anyways, all this to say: I like the work that you did. And even though it was a year ago I hope that it was something significant and wonderful for you and that you are continuing to do said significant and wonderful things.

And really, that's all.

-Lori

It just made me smile. It's just the kind of inspiration that will bring tomorrow's sun into my Annie audition with Diablo Theatre Co. Um, yeah. Annie.

More Perspective

I am having a sad day, but I still need to take a moment out to be grateful for my life.

1. two auditions today

2. a few hours of work today

3. the casual carpool to come

4. good food (like last nights' dinner)

5. laughter

Tomorrow is my yoga teaching assessment and I planned a class based on the chakras, but I'm thinking of scrapping the whole thing. The partner yoga that I wanted to do wasn't working, so I am looking for something else. I guess I should do that before I am forced out of bed and thrust into this crazy day!

Does Monday = Procrastination?

I stayed in bed this morning until about 9:30AM which is right on for me lately if I don't have anywhere to be. I heard Tony head out around 8:15AM. I believe he was going hiking up the coast. It's a gorgeous day today, but I was unable to go since I have an audition at 2PM for a puppet theatre company.

My mind is a little scattered today. I really cannot keep focus. I keep looking at my Funny Bone definitions, thinking about Laughter is a River and worked a bit on the audition sides. Of course I trolled Facebook and Twitter and skimmed my regular blogs and some news articles.

This is my Google horoscope for today.

Taurus
By Rick Levine
Retrograde Mercury in your sign may be creating its share of delays but today you are determined to make progress in spite of circumstances beyond your control. Managing your anger may take all your concentration if others get in your way. Still, your determination is stronger than usual, giving you the willpower to overcome a variety of obstacles.

Perhaps I should not have read it since while I am not angry at all, I have grown more anxious. Perhaps is it the audition, or the Bay Area Theatre Critic Circle Awards tonight, my yoga certification assessment this coming weekend or the lack of work this week.

Gosh, that's enough to make me hide under the covers for the rest of the day.

I was going to have another cup of coffee to keep me going, but now I see that's a bad idea. I am instead going to get dressed, work on the audition sides and BREATHE.

Quick things to be grateful:
1. arts & culture close by
2. housing potentials if tony leaves
3. new potential jobs
4. yoga & meditation
5. gorgeous spring weather

Late Night Gratitude

Today was a long day. Early morning computer work, a brunch of dim sum, Chauncey's class at The Beat, Art Savvy at YBCA, a little downtime and coffee in the Union Square area, and then dinner and Round and Round the Garden at ACT with Lauren. As is typical during a long day with some SF time my eyes get tired. When this happened once in NY I took a time out and got a 10 minute chair massage. That was awesome. However in this case, a little walk, some coffee and review of my yoga asana flash cards was helpful.

It was nice to have such a full and diversified day. And now just a little gratitude before I slumber.

1. a nice community around me
2. my ipod (with music and podcasts!)
3. good food abound
4. good theatre
5. reliable transportation

Return of the Gratitude

Yesterday I spent a bit of time reading old posts. Mostly because in the last week I celebrated the fourth year of this crazy documentation of this journey. Okay, time to get personal. My journey. Whether I want it or not.

One of the things I noticed is that I have stopped doing my daily gratitudes. Or at least a list of things to be grateful for each time I posted. Perhaps I have been a bit cynical. Or angry or maybe lonely. But change is a-coming. Whether it wants to or not.

Yoo-hoo, gratitude list!!

You're on!

Daily Gratitudes:
1. sunny skies
2. Lauren & Suehyla for their feedback on 'Laughter is a River'
3. Janice for sending me a job posting and encouraging me to apply
4. good food - Thai yesterday and Ethiopian tonight
5. a roommate who regularly cleans the dishes