Monday, November 2, 2009

Missing the Welcome

Back at the temp job and I finally feel like I have my groove. It's amazing how much more comfortable I feel after creating ritual. While sometimes I surprise myself with changing plans, I really am a creature of habit. That does not go for restaurants since I rarely go to a watering hole twice, but still. This is a little bit of an epiphany for me. I had a jaunt in my step as I walked from the bus to the office. And more of an awareness of my comfort level as I came back from Starbucks with a pound of ground and a free cuppa joe and a scone. As a Taurus, lots of times I am listed as stubborn. I really don't think that's true. Maybe because stubborn sounds so hard and fast. And I don't think I hold on to the rituals so tightly, but change does hurt. Maybe there's another word. Ah, thesaurus, what do you got?

Firmly, often unreasonably immovable in purpose or will: adamant, adamantine, brassbound, die-hard, grim, implacable, incompliant, inexorable, inflexible, intransigent, iron, obdurate, relentless, remorseless, rigid, unbendable, unbending, uncompliant, uncompromising, unrelenting, unyielding.

Yeah, these are too strong. I don't think I am that fixed.

I went back to Davis yesterday with Tony to see the first department show of the year and get my fill of all you can eat sushi. There is a sense of ease with Davis, but it's start to feel like the past. It is certainly nice to go back and see familiar faces. Again, nice. Maybe it's because I am welcomed there and things are a little colder in my new life. I miss the welcome.

Okay, that's all well and good, but what does that mean? I guess I need to get out and find those that will welcome me. That are familiar. I think I will research yoga classes close by.

Om.

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