Since I am working, my ankle is healing and I have both a haircut and PT appointment tomorrow I am thinking that I am entering a new phase. The positive beginning of my time here in the East Bay. Due to my ankle injury, I have been on a negative spiral downwards. Sitting on the couch waiting for someone to help me.
Guess what? Nobody cares.
I am not being cynical here or pessimistic. It's just reality. A few weeks ago I forced myself into positive thinking. This caused me to get off my butt or at least in active mode. That's what I feel jump started me back up the path. Barbara Ehrenreich was on Jon Stewart recently and said that positive thinking was all a bunch of hooey. And I hereby stick my tongue out at good 'ol Barbara. Positivity works. And taking control. No one is crying with me. Everyone is too busy or too into their own shit. No judgment here, no loss of expectations - it's just what is. If I am not proactive, nothing will happen. Period.
I keep waiting for the universe to tell me what my time in California is supposed to give me. It does not feel like I am supposed to be here for the long haul, but the universe is not telling me squat. And I have been listening. Therefore I realized that I have to decide what I want.
On Saturday, I spoke with Suehyla on the phone and met with Praba for lunch. They both were very encouraging. Suehyla encouraged being pro-active with getting auditions and using any and all contacts. Praba suggested that I keep looking for theatre gigs, but truly start to create my own work. She also said that the quality of work here is on the lower side and after seeing what I do at Davis, she feels that I could do well here.
So, I brought my thesis script with me to work on my ipod and the new research continues. I am also starting the grant search, as well.
On the downside, my income is not really what it needs to be. I am just making ends meet and that's not good enough if I want to keep the savings account growing.
Mama's got a lot of work to do.
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