I'd Better Learn Spanish

As someone without secured income as I moved to NY, getting an apartment has been difficult. I lost the one apartment that excited me in Inwood and I felt the need to find something else. As I made the final decision to apply for the place I am currently in on W156th my agent said I really needed to find a guarantor. I had a hard time getting in touch with my sister-in-law and my agent was waiting in front of the office building of another friend who was loaning me the application fee.

I felt like I had to make a decision and the original pendulum swung to let the apartment go. My parents already offered a temporary home for me and the cats, however I really didn't want to move them twice. When I did hear from my sister-in-law everything moved ahead so fast. I was approved later that day and the following day I was getting cashiers checks and signing my life away.

The big thing is that I was not excited. Seeing how things are now, I should have let the apartment go, lived with my folks and looked for units myself once I got here. Perhaps it's that I am not familiar with the area, or perhaps it's that most people speak Spanish in these parts - and I do not. Or perhaps it's that these guys hang on the stoop right next to my apartment until the wee hours of the morning. Or perhaps I was awakened this morning by a women pounding on a door on my floor screaming, "Fucking bitch!"

I am not really sure. It's probably a bit of all of them. But I have two furry nubbins that are either hiding under the covers or walking around the apartment screaming and crying.

While I am certainly calmer than that, I want to feel safe. I hate that my dad heard that I need to stay away from certain blocks and subway stops. I want to feel comfortable in my neighborhood, but it feels that I have already been beaten.

It's a beautiful sunny day in NY and the feel is certainly different during the day than it was last night. This transition was not easy at any point. It makes me doubt the decision and want to join Maxie hiding under the covers.

I did set up the card table and folding chair by the sunny window. So, as I sit here typing using some neighbor's open WIFI I will continue to look for jobs and pray to the appropriate saints to ease this transition.